Ron Swanson Quote #1

Quote from Ron Swanson in Pilot

Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] I've been quite open about this around the office. I don't want this Parks Department to build any parks because I don't believe in government. I think that all government is a waste of taxpayer money. My dream is to have the park system privatized and run entirely for profit by corporations. Like Chuck E. Cheese. They have an impeccable business model. I would rather work for Chuck E. Cheese.

Rate

 ‘Pilot’ Quotes

Quote from Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope: Hello. Hi. My name is Leslie Knope, and I work for the Parks and Recreation Department. Can I ask you a few questions? Would you say that you are, enjoying yourself and having fun, having a moderate amount of fun and somewhat enjoying yourself, or having no fun and no enjoyment? I'm gonna put a lot of fun.
Boy: Ms. Knope, there's a drunk stuck in the slide.
Leslie Knope: Sir, this is a children's slide. You're not allowed to sleep in here.
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: You know, when I first tell people that I work in the government, they say, "Oh. The government. The government stinks. The lines are too long at the DMV." But now things have changed. People need our help. And it feels good to be needed.
[back:]
Leslie Knope: Could you put your arms to your side? And that might help you slide down a little easier. Do you want to come this way? Okay, we're gonna need you to get out. Can you please go away? Get out of the slide. Okay? You're... Can you please go away? Here we go! Okay, wake up. Here we go. Out of the slide.
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: You know, government isn't just a boys' club anymore. Women are everywhere. It's a great time to be a woman in politics. Hillary Clinton, Sarah Palin, me, Nancy Pelosi.
[back:]
Leslie Knope: We did it! You know, I like to tell people, you know, "Get on board and buckle up, because my ride's gonna be a big one." And if you get motion sickness, you know, put your head between your knees 'cause Leslie Knope's stopping for no one.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope: I'm going in.
Ann: Why?
Leslie Knope: Don't worry. I have a hard hat on.
Ann: I can see that, but...
Leslie Knope: Yeah. April, document this.
April: Document what?
Leslie Knope: The key to any fact-finding mission is to get right into the battle zone, you know? It's like George Bush when he flew over New Orleans or Richard Nixon when he went to China to see what the Chinese were up to. No! Oh, oh! [falls]

Quote from Leslie Knope

Ann: So, Andy jumped over this fence. He was crossing through to get home, and then he fell right there.
Leslie Knope: Oh, my God. How did we let this happen? Dream with me for a second, Ann. Doesn't this neighborhood deserve a first-class park? Imagine a shiny new playground with a jungle gym and swings, pool, tennis courts, volleyball courts, racquetball courts, basketball court, regulation football field. We could put an amphitheatre over there with Shakespeare in the Park.
Ann: It's really not that big of a pit.
Leslie Knope: We could do some of those things. It's gonna take a little extra work. But why not try?
Ann: I think that would be great.