Leslie Knope: So this was built in 1935. It's called Pioneer Hall. And a little trivia, it is one of the first structures in America to ever have locks.
Ann: Wow!
Leslie Knope: Oh, yeah. This is our crown jewel. It's one of our best murals. It depicts the very famous battle at Conega Creek. We have a lot of children visit, so often we have to cover up the more gruesome parts with a poster.
Ann: That is horrifying.
Leslie Knope: Yes, it is.

Tom: [aside to camera] Every now and then we have these little gatherings, and Leslie gets plastered. One time I convinced her to try to fax someone a Fruit Roll-Up. She one time made out with the water-delivery guy in her office. On Halloween, she was dressed up as Batman. Not Batgirl. Batman. And I convinced her to go stop a crime that was going on outside. And it is my favorite thing in the world.

Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] I've created this office as a symbol of how I feel about government. This sawed-off shotgun belonged to a local bootlegger. People who come in here to ask me for things have to stare right down the barrel. Did you guys get a grant to do this? This is my basketball court. I don't want to see any double dribble. I don't want to see any three-second violations. Bobby Knight!

Leslie Knope: Thank you so much for coming. What an amazing turnout. My name is Leslie Knope. I am the deputy director of the Parks and Recreation Department, and tonight we're gonna be taking some of your questions as... [auditorium lights turn off] Hello? We're having a meeting in here.
Tom: [in the dark] Does anybody have any questions about permits?

Leslie Knope: Anyone else who would like to contribute?
Ann: Hi. Hi, hi. Hi. I'm Ann Perkins. I'm a nurse, and frankly, I don't really care for politics [applause]. But I'm here to talk about the abandoned lot on Sullivan Street.
Leslie Knope: Excellent. That sounds like a good idea. Tell us about that.
Ann: No, it's a problem. It almost killed my boyfriend.
Leslie Knope: Oh.
Ann: Yeah. There's a lot nearby my house, and a developer dug out a basement for some condos, and then they went bankrupt, so there's just this giant pit, and it's been there for almost a year.
Leslie Knope: Twelve months, yes. Go on.
Ann: Yeah, and my boyfriend, who is a musician. Actually, I support him, but anyway, he fell in and broke both his legs.

Tom: Ann, let me speak with you for a minute. So, your boyfriend fell down into this pit, right?
Ann: Yes.
Tom: And, this guy, is it pretty serious? Are you guys living together?
Ann: Yes.
Tom: Wow, I'm sure this must be really tough for you. You know, just, this guy, sounds like he didn't have a lot going on for him to start with, and now both legs broken. He's just weak. You have to take care of him. You probably feel like you need to move on.
Ann: What does this...
Tom: Just become more adventurous in relationships with your body, just in...
Ann: Are you actually hitting on me right now?
Tom: Oh. Oh. God, no. I'm not hitting on you. I'm actually married. I'm just an open person, and I like connecting with people. I'm, you know, very comfortable around women, attractive women. I've spent a lot of time with them. And I just... I don't know. I feel like we might be taking up too much of the forum's time. Maybe we can just exchange numbers. You know, maybe go away one weekend and just kind of talk about this.

Tom: [on the phone] No, that sounds great. Problem is, anything over $25 I have to report, so maybe give my wife a call and give her the suits, and then if they don't fit her, maybe she'll give them to me.
Leslie Knope: [enters] Morning.
Tom: All right, Mr. Mayor. That sounds good. I'll see you on Saturday for the Ultimate Frisbee game. Bye. [hangs up] Leslie, hello.
Leslie Knope: You were talking to the mayor?
Tom: Yep, we were just rapping about some things.

Leslie Knope: I need more firepower. I need bigger guns. You know what I need to do? Form a committee. Right?
Tom: Yeah, that could work.
Leslie Knope: Yeah, 'cause committees are power, and committees make things happen. Committees are the lifeblood of our democratic system. That's really good. Write that down.
Tom: Yep.
Leslie Knope: [to camera] From time to time, when I think of an eloquent saying or a phrase, I have Tom write it down. He's collecting them for my memoirs.
[aside to camera:]
Tom: Here's Leslie's quote from Wednesday. [shows a piece of paper with squiggly lines written on it]
[back:]
Leslie Knope: Okay, read it back to me.
Tom: Um... "Committees cover our democracy with blood."
Leslie Knope: Hmm. Sounded better when I said it. It's still good, though.

[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: Well, if you want something done in this town, you call Mark Brendanawicz because, you know, he's a city planner, but he's more than that. He's kind of like a fixer. He fixes things. He's a smart, capable guy. He just... He knows where the bodies are buried.
[later:]
Leslie Knope: What's up, Brendanawicz? You crazy old Polish person.
[aside to camnera:]
Leslie Knope: City Hall is like a locker room, and you gotta get in there, and you gotta snap towels at people, and you gotta give them the business, and if you can't take it, you know, you... Then you can't take it. You gotta leave the locker room.

Leslie Knope: Let's get down to brass tacks. I know you don't have a lot of time and I want to thank you for meeting me today.
Mark: I just work right there.
Leslie Knope: Well, thank you for clearing your schedule.
Mark: I didn't clear anything.