Chris: Oh, Larry. We've been taking pictures all over City Hall to show our unborn baby where we met. Would you mind?
Jerry: Oh, my gosh. I would be honored. [chuckles] Say, when are you crazy kids gonna get hitched?
Ann: Well, you know, actually, we haven't discussed it in a while.
Chris: No, it's kind of taken a back seat.
Jerry: Well, you know, to each his own, but you guys really seem like you're in love. And when I see a couple who look at each other the way you do, I don't know, it just makes me think that maybe this crazy world is gonna be okay.
Chris: [laughs] That literally went on forever. I thought you were never gonna stop talking. But now that you have... Ann Perkins, will you marry me?
Jerry: [gasps; gags]
Ann: Wow.
Jerry: [gasps] Cracker dust.
Ann: Uh, I mean, yes, of-- of course, l-let's do it.
Jerry: Can I have a sip of your water, please?
Chris: Oh, no, no, no. I'm--I'm a bit of a germaphobe.
Jerry: Oh, no, no, totally understand. [coughs]
Chris: Ann Perkins...
Jerry: I'm gonna cough it out.
Chris: I would like to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you.
Ann: I love you too.
Jerry: [hacking]
Ann: No part of this is how I pictured it.
Jerry: I thought another cracker might push it through, but I was wrong.

April: No cell phone usage on City Hall property? That's not fair, my cell phone is how I avoid doing work.

Ron Swanson: This is an elk hair.
Leslie Knope: Yes. It's the most effective hair for binder security. You know that, Ron.

Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] If Tom gives that presentation, it is going to be a total disaster for both him and the department. I cannot sit idly by and watch this terrible thing happen. I mean, I can barely sit idly by and watch good things happen.

Carter: We're here to discuss a business contract for the Lafayette Park food stand. Miss Knope, you've always steered this committee in the right direction. Why do you think we should renew Hot Stu's lease?
Leslie Knope: Well, frankly, it's because of Stu. Here's a man who was ready to retire, spend time with his family, travel. And then he realized, "No, I wanna spend my time in a small metal box all summer, bent over a boiling cauldron of steaming, bubbling meat." Making stew is hard: Up at the crack of dawn, backbreaking labor, your clothes smelling like salt and gristle. Sure, profits are minimal, but Stu doesn't care about that. Maybe a year extension isn't enough. Maybe we should make it five years. Heck, why don't we give him a lifetime deal? I'd like to see Stu ladling out his pungent beef smoothies until we bury him under that shed.
Stu: I think I've made a terrible mistake.
Carter: Okay, that was bleak.

Tom: Here's a little gift for you for believing in me.
Leslie Knope: Oh.
Tom: It's a gel-based hair serum. Enough with the mousse, for real.
Leslie Knope: Okay.

Leslie Knope: Oh, that reminds me. I know you don't open your mail, but I do. And because you created Tom's position-- business liaison-- and it's already financially paying off, you have received Pawnee's Government Employee of the Month. I mean, it has taken--
[Ron grabs the frame, looks both ways as he runs out of his office, heads to his wood shop, cuts the frame in half, burns it, then buries it across state lines in Illinois]

Leslie Knope: Okay, first morning meeting back in the old conference room. What's this?
Tom: Oh, it shows everyone's spirit dogs. That one's you.
Leslie Knope: You guys think I'm a border collie? So obviously a cocker spaniel.
April: The spirit dog committee ruled on that weeks ago. There is no appeals process.
Donna: No. [April and Donna laugh]
Leslie Knope: Totally. I'm in on the joke. I get it, but maybe we should stop talking about your insane dog choices and get to working.
Donna: Classic border collie. Has to control everything. [laughter]

Tom: First on the agenda: I'm gonna bring my lemonade stand idea to the small business coalition, and a little birdie told me it's already in the bag. Can I get a what-what?
Ron Swanson: What?
Leslie Knope: What?
Tom: Thank you.

Leslie Knope: Well, I will start doing an environmental impact study, and Ron, you can do some demographic research.
Tom: Don't sweat it, Lez-kno. Tommy's taking care of every last detail.
Leslie Knope: Nothing I can do to help? Okay. [clears throat] Oh. I can straighten this for you. [laughs] There we go.
[The picture frame falls to the ground and breaks]