Chris: Ron, a word? Are you aware of what's going on out in your department?
Ron Swanson: I am. My department is pouting because I didn't put on a puppet show based on the funniest email chain of the year.
Chris: I would have liked to have seen that show. My nomination was Jerry accidentally forwards his bank statement to everyone. [laughs] Classic... And depressing.
Ron Swanson: The point of a barbecue is not to do hokey, office joke theater. The point is-
Chris: The point of the barbecue was to thank the department. It was an employee-appreciation barbecue. Ron, I gave you the chance to become assistant city manager. And you chose to stay here, which is fine. But if you're going to lead the department, you occasionally have to lead the department. And I say that as one of your closest colleagues and dearest friends... But also as your boss.

Leslie Knope: I went to our nation's capital this weekend in order to apply for a federal grant to clean up our city's river. But things move pretty slow in Washington, and I'm not going to wait around. Now, I was recently reminded by someone that I'm not the type of person to shy away from hard work.
Andy: What? Did I-- Do you need something from me right now?
Leslie Knope: No, no, no. Never mind. Point is, I'm going to clean up this river by myself. Every Saturday from 8:00 a.m. to 10:00 a.m., I will be here. Those are my office hours. If you want to come and talk to me or ask me questions or raise an issue, this is where I'll be. Let's get to work, Pawnee. [applause] Oh, my God. The smell is so much worse when you get up close.

Ron Swanson: Everyone, get in here now! Your work is appreciated. Eat some corn.
All: Thanks, Ron.
Ron Swanson: Also, here's Tom.
Tom: Aah!
Ann: It actually smells really delicious.
Donna: It really does.
Tom: Give me some of Tommy's ribs.
Jerry: Oh, heck, yeah.

Ben: [on video chat] I mean, if I'd known it didn't go well with the guy from Interior, I--
Leslie Knope: No, no, no. You did nothing wrong. I'm so happy for you and how much everyone loves you and how great you're doing. I just freaked out. I'm sorry.
Ben: Long distance sucks.
Leslie Knope: It does. But we can do this, right?
Ben: Yeah, definitely. Can you come visit next month? We can take a proper tour of the sights.
Leslie Knope: There's only one sight I want to see right now.
Ben: All right, I mean, this is getting weird, but, uh, there it is. [stands up, turns around]
Leslie Knope: I meant the Jefferson Memorial, you perv.
Ben: Right. Sorry. Sorry, I-I don't, uh-- I'm--I'm just-- Wait. No, you didn't.
Leslie Knope: No, I didn't. [both laugh] Spin it around and back it on up.