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Ms. Knope Goes to Washington

‘Ms. Knope Goes to Washington’

Season 5, Episode 1 -  Aired September 20, 2012

When Leslie and Andy visit Ben and April in Washington D.C., the power and prestige of the nation's capital makes Leslie feel like her work is insignificant. Back in Pawnee, Ron is tasked with hosting an employee appreciation barbecue.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope: Does anybody feel like they can't breathe? I think I need some fresh air.
April: We're outside.
Leslie Knope: God, these women. They're so smart and accomplished and pretty. And they're tall. Why are they all so tall? It's like C-Span and Neiman Marcus had kids or something.

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Quote from Leslie Knope

John McCain: Excuse me. I just need to get my coat here.
Leslie Knope: [without turning around] Could you give me a minute here, please?
John McCain: Are you- Are you okay? Can I get you anything?
Leslie Knope: I-I would like you to just leave and give me a little privacy here, please.
John McCain: All right. I'm sorry. I hope everything's okay.
Leslie Knope: [scoffs] Nosy people have no respect for personal space.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Andy: Are you okay, boss?
Leslie Knope: No. Not really. I know I should be focusing on this river cleanup, but all I keep thinking about is Ben laughing in a helicopter with Hot Rebecca.
Andy: Who's Hot Rebecca?
Leslie Knope: [sighs] She's just this jealousy amalgam I created. I combined all of the giant, dark-haired, smartphone power goddesses into one woman called Hot Rebecca.

Quote from Andy

Leslie Knope: So you can see that the color changes about 1/3 of the way up, and it's when construction was actually halted on the monu--
Andy: Leslie, this is a really cool penis, but Ben and April are meeting us at the Smithsonian in 10 minutes.
Leslie Knope: Let's talk on the way. 1776, a nation was born.
Andy: Which nation?

Quote from Ron Swanson

Donna: Why are we having a conference-room meeting? Leslie's gone.
Chris: Ron has taken initiative, and he is leading the meeting. [laughter]
Ron Swanson: He's not joking. I wanted to let you all know that I will be throwing the annual Parks Department employee-appreciation barbecue.
Donna: You're going to throw the Leslie Knope Employment Enjoyment Summerslam Grill Jam Fun-slposion?
Ron Swanson: That's right.
Tom: You are gonna oversee the Popsicle-eating contest, the slip'n slide-a-thon, the watermelon carving, the gazpacho-off, and star in a one-woman show about parks rules and regulations?
Jerry: "Parks and Dolls." [sings] I got your park right here, its name is Ramsett Park.
All: [sing] and its gates are open from dawn till dark.
Ron Swanson: I am not doing any of that, which is the point.

Quote from Chris

Chris: I know that Ron doesn't want us to eat anything before the meat, but I smuggled in some candy.
Tom: Oh, thank God. I'm starving. Raisins?
Chris: It's nature's candy. Now, they're basically grapes. So remember to pace yourself. I can't even follow my own advice. It's too delicious.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Jerry: Donna, I got to go to the boys' room. Can I have a ride in your car?
Donna: Absolutely not.
Tom: This barbecue stinks. I'm saying it. It stinks.
Ann: Do you have any plates or anything? I mean, how are we supposed to eat these rumps?
Jerry: Ron, if no one takes me to the bathroom, I'm just going to have to go in the trees.
Ron Swanson: All right. Forget it. [slams barbecue shut] You have ruined a perfectly good barbecue with your demands and chatter. [closes car trunk] Enjoy the rest of your evening. [drives off with barbecue]

Quote from Andy

Leslie Knope: Now take out your guidebook.
Andy: Oh, I didn't bring a guidebook.
Leslie Knope: Oh, I brought you one.
Andy: You did?
Leslie Knope: Yeah.
Andy: Thank you.
Leslie Knope: Now throw it away, 'cause Leslie Knope is your guidebook. [Andy throws the book] I didn't-- I didn't mean literally. There were some notes in it. Okay, grab the book, and let's hit the National Mall.
Andy: There's a mall? That's awesome. I need to get some flip-flops.

Quote from Andy

Leslie Knope: "In this temple, as in the hearts of the people for whom he saved the Union, the memory of Abraham Lincoln is enshrined forever." Andy, what are you doing?
Andy: Have you ever seen any of the National Treasure movies? Everything in this city is a clue.
Leslie Knope: Nothing in that movie is accurate.
Andy: Aha! A clue! Check it out.
Leslie Knope: I think that's just gum.
Andy: How do I know this isn't a treasure map just waiting to be unfurled?
Leslie Knope: Because it's gum.
Andy: That's gum.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope: So I want to see the history of the Girl Scouts and then Lincoln's pocket watch and the First Ladies exhibit and everything... I want to see everything.

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