Tom: And that's why they call me Prince Charming. 'Cause I always find the glass slipper for my Cinderella.
Woman: These are way too tight.
Tom: Well, the real Cinderella didn't have hippo feet.
Leslie Knope: Tom, we're back.
Tom: [claps] Jeremy! Suck it! By the way, I've been giving away free sports bras to the girls at hot dog on a stick.

Donna: [on the phone] Look, we can dance all day, but it's time to step up. Are you buying 4,000 rubber nipples from me or not?
Man: Dee, you have a visitor.
Donna: We back?
Leslie Knope: We're back.
Donna: All right.

Leslie Knope: Jerry.
Jerry: Oh, my gosh. Look who's here. Leslie.
Leslie Knope: The nightmare's over, Jerry. We're going back to work. You're not gonna need this anymore. [tosses wonderful watercolor painting in the river]

Tom: Okay, gentlemen, it's time for the pregame coin toss.
Ron Swanson: There's no coin toss in basketball. Are those women's sneakers?
Tom: Yes, they are, Ron. You know what? They fit better. I got an employee discount. And the best part is, no one can tell.

Tom: It's a foul.
Ron Swanson: What? On whom?
Tom: Your team. Number 50. He was double dribbling.
Ron Swanson: He's on defense.
Tom: Exactly. It's a technical difficulty, so that means Andy's team throws the ball from the stripey thing. Let's go.
Ron Swanson: The stripey thing?

Ben: Look. When I was 18, and I became mayor of my hometown, I used every last dollar we had to open a giant winter sports complex. Called it Icetown.
Leslie Knope: And it turned out great, and everyone loved it.
Ben: Uh, yeah, kinda. It was never completed, and I got impeached. Newspaper headline was, "Icetown costs ice clown his town crown."
Leslie Knope: Yuck.
Ben: They were big into rhymes.

Andy: [aside to camera] I dedicate this victory to April Ludgate. It feels good. And it feels sticky. From the Gatorade.

Leslie Knope: Okay, so we know the people who run this government have no faith in us. My plan is gonna change that and bring the budget back. And the answer's been right in front of us the whole time.
April: Ew, check your testicles?
Leslie Knope: No, not that. Although that is very good advice. I'm looking at you, Jerry.

Ann: [on the phone] He's actually a really nice guy.
Leslie Knope: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so have you asked him yet about the money?
Ann: Well, it's a date, you know? It's kind of hard to casually bring up the Parks budget when you're talking about your favorite movies.
Leslie Knope: Jurassic Park, parks are so great, the Parks Department needs money. I just did it in three moves.
Ann: Well, then, why don't you just come here and do it yourself?
Leslie Knope: [appears next to Ann] Okay.
Ann: Holy crap.

Andy: Well, I got my answer. About April. She hates me. Yeah. And she got a boyfriend, I guess, from some city in Mexico. So... What do I do?
Leslie Knope: Okay. Well, when your back's against the wall and odds are stacked against you, you just... you... You swing the hardest, damn it. You go big, or you go home. And you don't seem like the kind of guy who goes home.
Andy: I'm not. I don't even really have a home.