‘Galentine's Day’
Season 2, Episode 16 - Aired February 11, 2010
Leslie and Justin decide to track down an old flame of her mother's, Frank (guest star John Larroquette). Meanwhile, Andy's band performs at a Valentine's Day dance for seniors.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Do you think they'll get married? Oh, my God, what if they get married?
Justin: That would be amazing.
Leslie Knope: Would I call him "Dad" then? No, that'd be too much. Maybe I'll call him "Pappy." Pop? Poppy? Paw-Paw? Look at me. I'm getting ahead of myself.
Justin: Hey. You never know.
Leslie Knope: I'm gonna call him "Poo-Paw."
Quote from Andy
Andy: [sings] You like potato and I like potahto You like tomato and I like tomahto Potato, potahto Tomato, tomahto Let's call the whole thing off. [song ends] Uh... I mean, that sucked, didn't it?
Guitar Player: Maybe if you sang it like Louis Armstrong.
Andy: Maybe, yeah. I mean, here's the thing, though. Who is that?
[aside to camera:]
Andy: My problem is I don't know how to tell if we're doing good. Because when you play a rock show, it's really easy to know if you're doing great because chicks will flash their boobs at you when you're up onstage. And you're like, "Oh! That must've sounded pretty good." But I can't- If that happens here, my eyes will fall out of my head and I'll die.
Quote from April
April: Hey, we're almost done, so we can leave soon.
Derek: [as an old man] Yes. I'll take you for an ice cream malted, and then we can go choose our caskets.
April: God, why does everything we do have to be cloaked in, like, 15 layers of irony?
Derek: Here's something un-ironic. Ever since you've been hanging out with that meathead, you've become completely lame.
April: You know what? We're breaking up.
Derek: Fine, then you can't make out with me when you're drunk anymore.
April: Fine, then I'll make out with Ben.
Ben: Pass.
Derek: No, he's my boyfriend. You can either make out with both of us or none of us.
April: Fine, none of you.
Derek: Fine.
Quote from Andy
Woman: I thought you were just terrific.
Andy: Seriously?
Woman: You sound like Dean Martin. If I were 50 years younger...
April: Ew.
Andy: [laughs] What? Wait. Who's Dean Martin?
[aside to camera:]
Andy: If I'm not mistaken, that was the old-lady version of flashing. Nailed the gig.
Quote from April
Derek: Valentine's bash at The Bulge tonight. We can get you a drink bracelet.
April: I can't. I've gotta work at the Senior Center Valentine's Day Dance thing.
Ben: That sounds amazing. Can we come?
April: I guess. I don't know why you would want to.
Derek: Because old people are funny.
Ben: Yeah, it'll be like The Golden Girls.
Quote from Mark
Mark: Happy Valentine's Day. First off, a bear in a paper bag and a heart-shaped balloon.
Ann: I love bears in bags.
Mark: Well, you will like this, then. Because this is a giant teddy bear holding a red heart.
Ann: Aw! Festive.
Mark: What's this? Oh, I don't know. It's a heart-shaped box of chocolates. That's a dozen red roses in a heart-shaped arrangement. See that? Perfume. For the lady.
Ann: Ooh! Ooh! "Yearning, by Dennis Feinstein." Mmm. Ooh! Dennis. No, no, Dennis.
Mark: Finally, The Heart of the Ocean.
Ann: [gasps] Gorgeous.
Mark: I never had a chance to get a girl a clichéd Valentine's Day gift before. So I got you all of them.
Ann: Thank you. That was very sweet.
Quote from Tom
Tom: I gotta take one of those lifeguard courses. Those guys get all the action. Am I right, Justin?
Justin: We gotta find this guy.
Leslie Knope: Frank? He's probably married. Or dead.
Tom: Pfft. What's the difference? Am I right, Justin?
Quote from Tom
Leslie Knope: Troops, gather around. Great news. The Senior Center Valentine's Dance is tomorrow, from 5:00 to 9:00.
Tom: Are we talking a.m. or p.m.? Those people are old. Am I right, Justin? Oh. Justin's not here.
Quote from Tom
Wendy: Well, hey. I got your message. You wanted to talk?
Tom: Yes, I do. [romantic music plays] Have a seat. Some champagne?
Wendy: Uh, no, thanks.
Tom: Come on. This is Armand de Brignac. Jay-Z drinks this.
Wendy: Yeah, well, Jay-Z doesn't have to perform surgery in an hour.
Tom: You don't know Jay-Z's schedule. He's a renaissance man.
Quote from Tom
Tom: Well, it's almost Valentine's Day, so I thought it would be a good day to tell you that...
Wendy: Okay. Let me just stop you right there. Look, Tommy, I just want you to know I'm so grateful for everything you did for me, but I only see us as friends.
Tom: For now. But think about how much better our friendship would be if we added... doing it. Seriously, I know our marriage was fake, but there's something between us. And I think we should give it a shot, for real.
Wendy: I just don't feel that way about you. I'm sorry.