Craig Middlebrooks Quotes Page 2 of 5
Quote from Donna and Joe
Craig: Moment over. Leslie, April, help Donna with her dress.
Typhoon: Hi, I'm Typhoon.
Craig: Typhoon, I am interested, but now is not the time. Michelle, get the bouquet. You're skating on very thin ice.
Quote from Donna and Joe
Craig: Everyone, can I have your attention, please. Now it's time for a surprise musical guest, One of my time favorites... me. [band plays "Oh, Donna"] I had a girl Donna was her name
Quote from Ms. Ludgate-Dwyer Goes to Washington
Craig: I added a personal testimony vouching for April's brilliance. And this guy better appreciate it because I do not compare people to Mary J. Blige lightly.
Donna: Uh, no one should. [fist bump]
Craig: Do you want to go to dinner tonight?
Donna: I do not.
Craig: Respect.
Jerry: I'm free.
Craig: I have plans.
Quote from One Last Ride (Part 1)
[Pawnee, 2019:]
Craig: [sings] Funny, though it's true Those silly things you do They only bring me closer To you [applause]
Tom: Nice crooning, buddy. The gentleman over by the bar there sent you over this glass of wine and his business card.
Craig: [to Typhoon] Okay, fine.
Quote from One Last Ride (Part 1)
[distant future:]
Craig: Typhoon, my love, happy anniversary. Do you have any regrets?
Typhoon: Not one. Not a single one. Do you have any regrets?
Craig: Are you kidding? Thousands. Most recently this trout! [Typhoon chuckles]
Quote from Moving Up (Part 1)
Craig: A soft opening tomorrow? From now on, everyone call me Kristin, because I am wigging out right now!
Quote from Leslie and Ron
Leslie Knope: Oh. Morning, guys.
Andy: Good morning, Leslie.
Craig: What did you do to the office? Ron, you're wearing my yoga clothes. You're gonna stretch out the elastic.
Leslie Knope: We're sorry.
[Leslie sticks out her rear-end as Ron blasts the saxophone]
Quote from Doppelgangers
Donna: [on the phone] I guess we can make a switch to Bermuda grass. It's only 80 cents more per square foot?
Craig: What? Gimme gimme gimme. [takes phone] You want me to put Bermuda grass in a continental climate that's a six on Beaufort scale? In a park with zero drainage? I want Kentucky bluegrass, I want a 10 percent discount, and I want you to apologize to my best friend Donna! [hands phone back]
Donna: Yeah, hi. Is there - and I'm just guessing here - some kind of medication that you maybe need a lot of and have taken none of or maybe too much of today?
Craig: Oh, I have a medical condition all right. It's called caring too much! And it's incurable! Also I have eczema.
Quote from Doppelgangers
Leslie Knope: So, what's your story, new Ann? You're kind of pretty. I mean, you're not "Ann" pretty, but you have potential.
Evelyn: Thank you, but I-I don't work in this department.
Leslie Knope: Shut your kind of pretty mouth and, uh, eat a mustard cookie. Okay, so let's chit-chat, huh? Let's get to know each other and then become familiar best friends.
Craig: I don't have time for this. I'm halfway through designing a bamboo gazebo as a tribute to the founders of Motown.
Leslie Knope: That's so Craig. Oh, Craig! We have fun, don't we?
Quote from Doppelgangers
Donna: Big plans tonight, Craig?
Craig: No, I have a ton of work to do. Plus, my DVR is 13 months pregnant with episodes of Scandal.
Donna: Scandal's my favorite show. I love every character, except for...
Both: Mellie.
Craig: Oh! Of course you like Scandal! Because you're amazing! I love you. And no matter what happens with this job, I will always love you. [to Tom] Excuse me! Who even are you?
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