Leslie Knope: So this is where you want to eat lunch? In a steakhouse? Don't you have irritable bowel syndrome? God, I hate that I know that.
Councilman Jamm: Yeah, it's murder on the old plumbing, but, uh, Tammy only wants me to eat steak and whiskey. She has my stool analyzed just to keep me honest.
Leslie Knope: I don't think this relationship is that healthy. I mean, it seems like Tammy is trying to turn you into Ron, and you're Jeremy Jamm, I mean, come on. You love Porsches and spiked iced tea, and you have a Hooters platinum card.
Councilman Jamm: Yeah, Tammy doesn't really let me do that stuff anymore. But, uh, you know, it's good, you know? I'm better now. I mean, sure, I'm depressed, and, uh, I'm constantly sick, and nothing really brings me joy, but it just feels right. [sobbing] Oh, God.
Leslie Knope: Oh, boy.
Councilman Jamm: Oh, help me, Knope. Oh, I used to be so great. Remember? Everybody thought so.
Leslie Knope: Well--
Councilman Jamm: [sobbing] Oh, God.
Leslie Knope: Wow. This is worse than I thought. You're broken. She has broken you. You need to get away from her.
Councilman Jamm: Oh, God. Whoa, hey. Look at that. More hair came out. [laughing, sobbing]