April: I'll buy it.
Tom: You can't afford that house. Can you afford that house?
Ron Swanson: What would you use it for?
April: I'd go up there and take Andy and Champion and just get away from everyone else and look at spiders. And it's where I'd bury the bodies of that annoying couple after I murder them. Here's my offer. I will give you everything in my purse. $8, a bunch of loose cough drops, and Larry's asthma inhaler.
Jerry: Thank God. I've been looking for that.
April: Larry, this is part of a real estate transaction now. You have no legal claim to it.
Jerry: Sorry, I had no idea.