Ron Swanson: Benjamin, after thinking about what you said, I've decided to leave each of my children 5% of my fortune.
Ben: Wow, 5 whole percent. So, I guess you are gonna teach them a lesson. Oh, my God, that's 5%? That is a lot of money. Wait, is this a joke?
Trevor Nelsson: It is not a joke. Not that an accountant would know the difference.
Ron Swanson: Also, if something should happen to Diane and me, we decided that the kids should go to the most important people in our lives.
Ben: Ron, I'm... I'm incredibly flattered.
Ron Swanson: Ralph Piatkowski and his wife Helen. He's the Maitre D' at Mulligan's Steakhouse, and he knows me better than anyone. However, if they are not able to do it, which seems likely, as they're in their 90s, you and Leslie are choice number two.
Ben: I'm honored.