Ron Swanson: You can't force friendship, Leslie. It takes time. I once thought I had a friend. Then it turned out he was the single worst person I have ever met.
Eagleton Ron: I agree with Ron, Leslie. It's like Moz once said. "Hold on to your friends." Morrissey. The Smiths. You don't know Meat Is Murder? It's one of the best songs ever written about industrialized beef consumption.
Leslie Knope: Okay, Eagleton Ron. I think it might be time for you to go. This Ron has the position pretty much locked up, and, uh, I don't think we have any room for you in our department.
Eagleton Ron: Fair enough. I should have seen it. Taurus and Capricorns never mix, do they? Just remember, Ron. Giving in to hate is like drinking saltwater. The thirst only grows worse.
Ron Swanson: Leslie, remove this man before I commit an act of violence against him.
Eagleton Ron: Whatever you do, I won't fight back.