Ann: Hey. How did your wild dirtbag fantasy night work out?
Tom: Well, Mona-Lisa and the random girl she grabbed after you left got into a fistfight in the parking lot. Eventually, Mona-Lisa threw a cinderblock through the girl's windshield. She dives in, steals her purse, doesn't go for the money, steals all her birth control pills, and says, "Bitch, you're gonna get pregnant." She then pretends those are ecstasy and sells it to a bunch of college kids that are drinking Goldschläger at a gas station.
Ann: You have to break up with her.
Tom: I tried. Again. It did not go well.
Ann: Did she assault you?
Tom: No, this was a sexual injury.
Ann: Okay, gross.