Chris: Ron Swanson and April Ludgate, literally my two favorite people in the catalogued universe.
Ron Swanson: April will not be participating in your pointless course because she has more important things to do like not participating in your pointless course.
Chris: I just want April to become as great a department head as yourself.
Ron Swanson: Which is why this is pointless. I've been head of the Parks department for 12 years, and I never had any "management training" course.
Chris: Ron, you've never been "CTMTS'ed?" I am legally required to CTMTS every department head. Otherwise, we are open to all kinds of liability.
Ron Swanson: What are you saying?
Chris: I'm saying that tomorrow during the seminar, April is going to have a classmate. And spoiler alert...
April: It's Alf.
Chris: It's you.
Ron Swanson: This went poorly.