Paul: Thank you, Ms. Ludgate. It is now quite clear that on innumerable occasions Ron Swanson said he intended to punch councilman Jamm in the face, and then he did.
April: Yeah, but who cares? He says a lot of things. He's always talking about overthrowing the government, but he never does that.
Councilman Jamm: Well, that'll make a nice pull quote for the article about me taking you to the cleaners.
Paul: Mr. Swanson, if you'd like to make a statement, you may.
Ron Swanson: On the night I punched councilman Jamm in the face, I warned him several times to back off. And instead, he attacked me twice. Truthfully, I barely registered his attack. He's incredibly frail, and his arms are weak. And when I punched him, he dropped so quickly, I thought he was diving towards the ground. I regret nothing. The end.