Chris: Tom, I have something I need to talk to you about.
Tom: Do we need to sit like this?
Chris: Yes. Mona-Lisa's taking advantage of you. And I'm sure that it's not easy when it's the sister of a dear friend.
Tom: Oh, no, it's not that. She scares the crap out of me. I once saw her punch a police horse in the face.
Chris: Speak directly to her and tell her, "I will not be disrespected." You're Tom Haverford. You're a smart, successful young man with an adorable, little belly. Stand up for yourself.