Leonard Tchulm: My name is Leonard Tchulm. I'm head of the Indiana Department of Emergency Preparedness. And today I'm going to bring death and destruction to your town.
Leslie Knope: I am Leslie Knope. I am the Pawnee Emergency Czar. And this year, we are more than prepared for your test, but, um, it just so happens, today is a little inconvenient.
Leonard Tchulm: Good, because the best day for a drill is when it's inconvenient for everyone. My mother is getting a colonoscopy today. I'm not even sure there's anyone there to drive her home, so we're all making sacrifices, Ms. Knope.
Leslie Knope: Well, I'm very sorry to hear about your mother.
Leonard Tchulm: Mm, we're not that close.
Leslie Knope: Oh. Good.