Leslie Knope: The point is, Ben and I have been dating on and off for about a year.
Chris: I am, of course, shocked... And not just because Ben usually prefers tall brunettes.
Ben: We're very sorry for the position this puts you in.
Leslie Knope: What's happening? Are you hugging me, or are we fighting? Are you hugging or fighting? Let me know.
Chris: Neither of those things. I love both of you. You are exemplary government employees.
Leslie Knope: "Exemplary"? That's the word we were thinking of.
Chris: Well, it's true.
Leslie Knope: Isn't it?
Chris: Which makes what I'm about to say even sadder.
Leslie Knope: Then don't say it.
Chris: I'm launching a full investigation into the extent of your wrongdoing. Please report Monday first thing to the council chambers for your ethics trial and subsequent punishment.
Ben: Told you we'd feel better.