Ron Swanson: So, Courtney. This says you retired in 1968.
Courtney: No, no, no. I was fired because I made a pass at an ethnic woman.
Tom: And what have you been doing for the last 43 years?
Courtney: Oh, you know, hitchhiking around. I went to Mexico. I met a lot of ethnic girls. They grow on trees down there. I was in jail for a spell... That about brings it up to date.
Ron Swanson: Sounds to me like you're ready to get back in the game, Courtney. We'll be in touch.