Tom: [aside to camera] I don't want lemonade. It's too sweet and it makes my tongue feel gritty. So maybe it's time for a change. Starting now, when life gives me lemons, I'm gonna slice 'em up into wedges and throw 'em into vodka tonics. Which I will then sip in a burlesque nightclub that I own with actor Taye Diggs and two of the Pussycat Dolls.