Ben: [on tape] If I thought you were serious, I'd be offended, Perd, but I know that we're buddies, and I know you wouldn't do that to me. But, no, this is a birthmark, Perd, okay? This is the little scar I got when I was nine and I fell off my bike, so, no, I'm not perfect!
Tom: I can't look away. It's a... it's amazing.
Ben: Okay, wait, wait, wait, no. Here's the best part.
Perd Harpley: Okay, uh, that's all the time we have here on Ya' Heard. I'm Perd Hapley, Channel 4.
Ben: [on tape] More like "Turd Crapley."