Leslie Knope: Look, I don't know if you're being a jerk on purpose just to prove you have the right to be a jerk, but either way, you're being a jerk. So, here. Take the booze chart.
Ron Swanson: Are you kidding me?
Leslie Knope: No. If you're gonna drink, you should use it, okay? I'm gonna head out. By the way, maybe it's none of my business, but if you eat three pounds of steak every day, you're gonna die. And although I've already written your eulogy, and it's incredibly touching, I would prefer not to give it for a while. The first line, by the way? "O Captain! My Captain! Ron Swanson, a swan song." Yeah, and it gets better from there.