Joan Callamezzo: Guess who?
Tom: Uh... Megan Fox? One of the Desperate Housewives?
Joan Callamezzo: No, Joan Callamezzo.
Tom: Hey, Joanie! What's up, gorgeous? Good to see you.
Leslie Knope: Tom comes on the show all the time. Joan loves him.
[TV clip:]
Tom: You have the softest skin of any woman in Pawnee.
Joan Callamezzo: Thank you.
Tom: I wish you could reach, from your TV screen, and just touch Joan's skin for a second.
Joan Callamezzo: That's sweet. You'd have a treat. You're pretty soft yourself.
Tom: How are your kids doing?
Joan Callamezzo: They're pretty good.
Tom: Is it tough for them to have a mother that is so beautiful? What's it like being the most attractive woman in Pawnee?
Joan Callamezzo: You keep up those funnies, I'm gonna have to invite you over for supper.
Tom: Well, I'll have to come over for supper.
Joan Callamezzo: Oh! You must.