Ron Swanson: Is that nuclear waste?
Leslie Knope: No, this is my job application from when you hired me.
Ron Swanson: How did you get that?
Leslie Knope: Freedom of Information Act request. But here's the thing. I've never read it. This application contains your very first impressions of me. It's the Rosetta Stone, Ron. The beginning of the whole shebang. This is all you wrote? Three lousy lines?
Ron Swanson: Why would anyone need more than three lines? I'm describing a person, not something complicated like a wooden sailing ship or proper dovetail technique. I forgot what I wrote. Can I hear it?
Leslie Knope: Why don't you read it yourself?
Ron Swanson: "Leslie Knope is an absurd idealist whose political leanings are slightly to the left of Leon Trotsky." So far, so accurate. "If we were to work together, she would undoubtedly drive me insane, and it is possible that we would murder each other."
Leslie Knope: You forgot the last sentence.
Ron Swanson: No, I didn't. I remember that part. It says, "Hire her."