Leslie Knope: Ms. Pinewood, recently, many of the local restaurants have changed their "small-size" option to a whopping 64-ounces.
Kathryn Pinewood: That's correct, and it's great for the consumer. More bang for the buck. Are we putting bargains on trial here?
Ann: How could any sane person call that "small"?
Kathryn Pinewood: Well, if the customer truly wants a smaller size, there is an option.
Ann: Oh, do you mean the "li'I swallow"? Does anybody buy that?
Kathryn Pinewood: Some girls buy them for their dollhouses, but they're not very popular. I mean, for only a nickel more, you get 64 ounces.
Leslie Knope: Well, uh, Paunch Burger just recently came out with a new 128-ounce option. Most people call it a gallon, but they call it the "regular." Then, there is a horrifying 512-ounce version that the call "child size." How is this a "child-size soda"?
Kathryn Pinewood: Well, it's roughly the size of a two-year-old child, if the child were liquefied. It's a real bargain at $1.59.
Leslie Knope: I'm sorry, Ms. Pinewood, but why would anybody need this much soda?
Kathryn Pinewood: It's not my place to speak for the consumer, but everyone should buy it.