Leslie Knope: I'd like to apologize to those that I've misled. I thought I was telling the truth, but, sadly, I was born in Eagleton.
Joan Callamezzo: Wha--? [laughs] Well, that is worse than I ever could have hoped for.
Leslie Knope: I learned something, Joan. It's not where you're born. It's where you're from. When I was nine years old, I broke my arm, sledding on that giant hill behind Kernston's rubber nipple factory. You know, "Nipple Hill".
Joan Callamezzo: Of course.
Leslie Knope: It gets very slippery there.
Joan Callamezzo: I know that.
Leslie Knope: Especially when it's wet.
Joan Callamezzo: Yes.
Leslie Knope: And, Jim. Jim Kabernick. I know Jim. Jim and I have gone to school together since we were, like, three years old.
Jim: Yes, that's true.
Leslie Knope: Do you remember when you peed your pants in second grade?
Jim: Why--why did you bring that up? I said yes.
Leslie Knope: You stuck your underwear in your drawer, and you got really embarrassed, and then the teacher came over and pulled them out. And everybody called you "The Gerbil" because you always smelled like soiled wood chips?
Jim: Leslie, for God's sake, we're on TV.
Leslie Knope: The point is you can't choose where you were born. But you can choose where you live. I love this town. I always have. I always will. And that's why I wrote a book about it. And that's why I'm running for City Council. [applause]