Trodd: Roscoe, people in this town are very angry about Gryzzl's data-mining program. In your opinion, have you done anything wrong?
Roscoe: We did not believe that we did anything to invade people's privacy, Trodd. But then, we checked thousands of emails and texts between our customers and their loved ones, and it seemed like people thought we were wrong.
Trodd: Gryzzl's currently trying to buy an enormous parcel of land to build a permanent headquarters in Pawnee. How will you win back our trust?
Roscoe: We're going to be throwing a free concert with U2 and Beyonce. Tickets are already on your phones. Seating is going to be organized by income and sexual history. And that, I swear, is the last time that we will be peeking inside your computers.