April: Look, dude, this internship leads nowhere. It'll just screw up the rest of your life. What do you love doing?
Jen: Texting.
April: What did you want to be when you were little?
Jen: A scary mermaid that lures sailors to their death.
April: Okay, side note, I'm gonna file papers to adopt you as my child, so keep an eye out for that. But more importantly, don't do this internship. Go do something fun like trying to control birds with your mind or posting internet comments as Michael Jackson's ghost.