April: What kind of pet are you interested in adopting? We have dogs, cats, rabbits. Um, I work here, so, legally, you can adopt me.
Ron Swanson: The girls want an actual dog. And they want it to look like this.
April: Interesting. So, like a banana made of spiders?
Ron Swanson: I've said it before and I'll say it again, children are terrible artists. [to camera] And artists are crooks.