Ben: Okay, you should really have a will that's more than one sentence long. You have a wife and kids now. I could introduce you to our lawyer.
Ron Swanson: The three most useless jobs in the world are, in order, lawyer, congressman, and doctor. Pass.
Ben: Ron, that document is nothing. It's not even notarized. You know, if you die and you don't have a real will, most of what you own will go to the government.
Ron Swanson: Where is this lawyer you speak of?