Leslie Knope: I'm sorry, Jerry, but your future has been canceled. We only raised $1,200.
Jerry: Leslie, thank you. That is amazing.
Leslie Knope: No, it stinks. It's not even close to what you need. With all your bills, and the inevitable follow-up problems, and the lifetime of chronic misery that awaits you. I mean, you had this whole plan for your retirement and your beach house and now you're future is just a huge pile of crap.
Jerry: Leslie, you can't actually plan your future. You know, there's no guarantees in this world. As long as the people I love are a part of my life I will be just fine. You wanna stick around? Watch some of my stories with me? Tonight's strawberry Jell-o night!
Leslie Knope: Oh, my God, your life is so depressing. No thank you.