Ron Swanson: Christopher, got a second?
Chris: Oh, hey, Ron.
Ron Swanson: Listen, I've eaten a commissary hamburger for lunch every day for 12 years. I just wanted to make sure this pointless health crusade won't affect the only part of my job that I like.
Chris: Oh, no, those hamburgers are gone. Red meat can cause sluggishness, heart disease, even impotence.
Ron Swanson: Has the opposite effect on me.