Jack Cooper: Ron? Jack Cooper, from the controller's office. Got a...got a second?
Ron Swanson: Sure, what can I do you for?
Jack Cooper: Frankly, this is a little awkward. We've received this letter from a collection agency about an outstanding debt from the Pawnee Public Library. It appears you have an overdue book.
Ron Swanson: Oh, do I?
Jack Cooper: "It's Not the Size of the Boat: Embracing Life with a Micro-Penis."
Ron Swanson: Tammy.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: My ex-wife Tammy likes to check in every so often and make sure I'm doing okay. And if I am, she tries to [bleep] everything up.