Tom: The ultimate celebrity, I think, to hang out with for a night would be Criss Angel. Like, you'll be talking to him and then he would just turn into fire. Ha ha ha! Brooks brothers boys is, like, the cuts are slimmer and it's cheaper. Win, win. You ever talk to someone and you're just, like, "Oh, we're gonna be best friends"? I'm getting that, like, right now.
[aside to camera:]
Detlef Schrempf: He had two beers. Light beers.
[back:]
Tom: I need you to make that out to Wendy. "Tom is an amazing guy. You never should have left him. You made a huge mistaken in your life, and you're probably gonna die alone. Love, Detlef."