April: I want to be your assistant.
Ron Swanson: Really? You hate it here.
April: So do you. I'll make sure you don't have to go to any meetings. If anyone comes to see you, I'll scare them away.
Tom: Wait, April, if you had to choose between these two ties...
[April closes the door on Tom]
Ron Swanson: You're hired.
[aside to camera:]
April: I just figured I might as well get paid for being here.