Leslie Knope: We have a criminal emergency on our hands. Someone planted a gateway drug in the community garden.
Ron Swanson: Okay. Call the cops.
Leslie Knope: That'll leak to the press. Then there'll be an investigation, and they'll find my fingerprints on the manure, and then we'll lose our funding.
Ron Swanson: You don't have funding.
Leslie Knope: And we never will if this gets out. Look, I will call the cops, but just give me one day to deal with this internally, okay?
Ron Swanson: Sure.
Leslie Knope: Thank you. And listen, if this thing blows up, I was never here.