[Pawnee, 2025:]
Leslie Knope: Ann, you rainbow-infused space unicorn. Ann, you beautiful, sassy mannequin come to life. Ann, you opalescent tree shark.
Chris: Leslie, you are the master of the metaphor.
Leslie Knope: Oh.
Chris: I recently compared her to a nutrient-rich chia seed.
Leslie Knope: What's that thing on your wrist?
Chris: Oh! [electronic beeps]
Male Voice: You are extremely healthy.
Chris: I do that literally 50 times a day.
Leslie Knope: Aren't you afraid that thing might give you cancer?
Chris: Well, I am now.

Chris: April Ludgate! Andy Dwyer!
Ann: Hi, guys.
Chris: Ann Perkins, my beautiful wife.
April: Hi.
Andy: Why are you guys not together? Chris? Did you lock yourself in the shed? Probably? I think that's pretty common these days.
Chris: Actually, Andy, as I've explained to you several times, Ann has gone back to work as a nurse. So out of an abundance of caution, she is isolating in the southeast part of the house while the kids and I are in the northwest, AKA the living room. [shouts] Hi, honey!
Ann: [shouts] Hi, babe!

Chris: Hey, gang.
Leslie Knope: Hey. What'd you bring?
Chris: I was in charge of the cake. To be fair, it's not a cake so much as it is a vegetable loaf. You got your mushrooms, your alfalfa sprouts, your spinach, and I had it sweetened with fruit reduction.
Ron Swanson: But did they ask you to bring a vegetable loaf or a cake?
Chris: No, a cake, but this is so much healthier.
Ron Swanson: So not only does this thing exist, but now you have deprived everyone of cake.
Leslie Knope: Take a walk, Ron.
Ron Swanson: Yep.

Chris: Hey! Hey. Hey, hey! [laughing] Hey. All right! Everybody! Everybody, everybody. Hey, Ann Perkins, hi. Hi. Everyone... You are all super amazing. You are what makes Pawnee great, and I just want to tell you that I am totally supportive of your inspiring efforts here today! [cheers and applause]
Leslie Knope: That, we'll take.
Chris: Yeah! Now my partner Ben wants to say something.
Ben: Yeah, we're shutting this down.
Chris: Damn! That's terrible news. Surely there has to be a solution, Ben.
Ben: No.
Chris: Ben says no. I'm sorry, everyone.

Chris: How's it going in here?
April: Good. I was just telling Andy that I'm proud of him.
Andy: [laughs] Oh. And I was just explaining to April that I'm a failure, and she should leave me for Orin.
Chris: Andy, this is a very important moment for you. How we deal with tragedy defines who we are. I used to be terrible at it. Beyond terrible. You are not going to let this deflate you. You are going to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and we will figure out what the next step is.