Leslie Knope: Okay, T-minus six hours until the engagement party. Has you-know-who responded yet?
Ann: Surprisingly, no, Larry Bird has not RSVP'd yet.
Leslie Knope: Well, he kind of waits until the last minute. That's his style. Put him down as a "maybe."

Tom: Okay! You guys pretend you're Ron Swanson, and you're trying to decide whether you want to invest in this company. Be super critical.
April: You're short.
Tom: And here...we...go!

Tom: Tom Haverford and Jean-Ralphio Saperstein...
Jean-Ralphio: Creators of Entertainment 720...
Tom: Proudly present...
Both: Rent A Swag!
Tom: Parents, are you tired of watching your middle-school-aged children grow out of the nice clothes you buy for them? Then rent them! From Rent A Swag. I own it. You rent it. You wear it. You clean it. You return it. I get rich. Wink! Rent A Swag!
Jean-Ralphio Saperstein: Where your swag is my business!
April: Okay, stop. You guys, stop! Stop! Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!

April: You're presenting this to Ron Swanson. Don't talk about any of your old, failed businesses, get rid of that stupid light show, and definitely don't use any weird, made-up words that Ron doesn't understand.
Tom: But the presentation's tomorrow at 8:00 a.m. We don't have time to start from scratch.
April: Well, if you do any of that, he's not gonna invest, so... Your funeral.

Chris: This was literally the most beautiful and moving thing that I have ever heard. [cries]
Donna: There, there, baby boy. Take all the time you need.

Ben: Well, sure, in a wrestling match, Kirk would win. But overall, who would you rather have at the helm of your Sovereign-class starship? Jean-Luc Picard. No contest.

Julia Wyatt: There's my boy!
Ben: Hey, Mom. Nice to see you. This is Leslie Knope, my fiancee.
Leslie Knope: Hi. It's--it's really nice to finally meet you, Ms. Wyatt.
Julia Wyatt: Oh! Please call me Julia. Is your father here yet?
Ben: No fighting tonight, Mom.
Julia Wyatt: Don't worry! I'm going to be civil, as long as he is. Frankly, after what he did at Geoffrey's graduation--
Leslie Knope: Oh, I have some white wine for you, some Chardonnay.
Julia Wyatt: Oh, thank you.
Leslie Knope: You're welcome. Right this way.
[Ben laughs nervously as Leslie leads his mother away]

Chris: Ann.
Ann: Hey. You all right, man?
Chris: The toast that you gave to Ben and Leslie was so beautiful, and I'm feeling very raw from my therapy. I am so happy... And so sad. It's like a perfect storm of emotions. And so I'm hiding out here, so I don't ruin this party for my two amazing best friends who I love so much. Oh! There's no more tissue. Everything ends! [cries]
Ann: No, no, no. No, there's more tissue. There's--
Chris: Everything goes away.

Leslie Knope: And I said, rules or no rules, I just have to kiss that beautiful face.
Marlene Knope: [chuckles] Well, that's a Knope woman for you. When we see something adorable, we attack it.
Julia Wyatt: He is adorable, isn't he? You chose well, Benny.
Leslie Knope: Aw, thank you. So far, so good.
Ben: I'll admit it. Things are going surprisingly well.
Leslie Knope: Yeah.
Ben: And pack it up. It's over, we're screwed.
Leslie Knope: He brought his girlfriend? He wasn't supposed to bring his girlfriend, Ben.
Julia Wyatt: Oh, Ben! Your father brought his little plaything.

Steve Wyatt: Hiya, Benny.
Ben: Hey, Dad, hi. [laughs] Hi. Hi, Ulani. Thought you weren't coming.
Steve Wyatt: Ulani is my girlfriend, and she's important to me, and I need her here.
Leslie Knope: Ulani, hi, I'm Leslie. What a wonderful surprise. We're so happy that you're here.
Ulani: What the hell, Steve? They didn't know I was coming?
Julia Wyatt: We didn't know it was spring break. [chuckles]
Ben: Okay, thanks, everybody, for coming. I'm so sorry you all have to go home.
Leslie Knope: Hey, Red Vines anyone?
Steve Wyatt: We're a Twizzlers family.