Andy: [aside to camera] That went really well! We had dinner! I got to see her! Oh, God, I was so tempted to look back at her. Was she looking? I had to walk so slow. A good day.

Tom: Well, well, well, look who's here. It's Officer John McClane. Welcome to the party, pal.
Dave Sanderson: Who's that?
Tom: Die Hard.
Dave Sanderson: The battery?

Dave Sanderson: Hey. I got your message.
Leslie Knope: Hey. Thanks for coming. Look, I'd love to go out with you. How about Friday for dinner?
Dave Sanderson: Yeah? Great. Hey, will Sandra Day O'Connor and Michelle Obama and Condoleezza Rice and Nancy Pelosi, are they gonna join us?
Leslie Knope: No, they will not be joining us.
Dave Sanderson: Okay, well, good, 'cause I don't happen to agree with Miss Pelosi's views about the Troubled Assets Relief Program.
Leslie Knope: Hmm.
Dave Sanderson: I looked that up to impress you.
Leslie Knope: I figured.

Ann: Just stand over there and don't drip on anything.
Andy: Is Mark the guy who's "fixing your shower"? I don't know about you, Mark, but I've seen a ton of porn. And I know what "fixing your shower" means.
Ann: Andy...
Andy: Sorry, you guys are on a date. That's cool.
Ann: Andy?
Andy: No, it's all right. Don't let me interrupt your date. Keep eating. I already ate. I'm super full. I don't... I don't want any.

Mark: These are amazing. Do you... Do you put a little hot sauce on these or something?
Ann: A good chef never reveals her secrets.
Andy: It's hot sauce. Ann is an extraordinary cook. Mmm. Memories.
Ann: Do you want some more? Are you hungry still?
Andy: You know what's funny? I was just sitting over here on the couch and I was thinking, that there was once a time when Mark used to be the stranger in the house. And now it's me.