Parks and Recreation Quotes
- Season 1
- Season 2
- Season 3
- Season 4
- Season 5
- Ms. Knope Goes to Washington
- Soda Tax
- How a Bill Becomes a Law
- Sex Education
- Halloween Surprise
- Ben's Parents
- Leslie vs. April
- Pawnee Commons
- Ron and Diane
- Two Parties
- Women in Garbage
- Ann's Decision
- Emergency Response
- Leslie and Ben
- Correspondents' Lunch
- Animal Control
- Article Two
- Jerry's Retirement
- Swing Vote
- Are You Better Off?
- Season 6
- London (Part 1)
- London (Part 2)
- The Pawnee-Eagleton Tip Off Classic
- Gin It Up!
- Recall Vote
- The Cones of Dunshire
- Second Chunce
- New Beginnings
- Farmers Market
- Ann and Chris
- The Wall
- New Slogan
- Galentine's Day
- Flu Season 2
- One in 8,000
- Moving Up (Part 1)
- Moving Up (Part 2)
- Season 7
Parks and Recreation
Parks and Recreation centers on Leslie Knope, a mid-level bureaucrat in the parks department of the fictional town of Pawnee, Indiana, who is determined to use her position to improve the lives of the town's residents.
Starring: Amy Poehler, Rashida Jones, Aziz Ansari, Nick Offerman, Aubrey Plaza, Chris Pratt, Adam Scott, Rob Lowe, Jim O'Heir, Retta.
Original Run: 2009-2015.
Quote of the Day
Thursday, October 29, 2020
Leslie Knope: Okay, you two, head on up there. We are gonna recreate your wedding photo from 50 years ago.
Mr. DeMarco: Okay, let's relive that day. Only this time could we shave her moustache? [chuckles]
Leslie Knope: Oh, boy. I don't know. I'm kind of worried about putting these two on live TV. They're sort of grumpy.
Tom: Why are we wasting our time with these old people anyway? They're like the old version of iTunes. We're like the new version of iTunes, baby. We're gonna be here forever. Oh, my God. I'm gonna die someday.
Ron Swanson: That's your will? You need that many pages to say, "Give my stuff to my wife"?
Ben: It's a complicated legal document.
Ron Swanson: It doesn't have to be. I've had the same will since I was eight years old.
Ben: "Upon my death, all of my belongings shall transfer to the man or animal who has killed me." What are these weird symbols?
Ron Swanson: The man who kills me will know.
Ranger Patrick: Hey, Ron. You're not going to slaughter that pig here, are you?
Ron Swanson: Not to worry. I have a permit.
Ranger Patrick: This just says, "I can do what I want."
Ron Swanson: I am the director of the Parks Department, and this is a park.
Ranger Patrick: It's not a Parks thing. It's against, like, three laws and a dozen health codes.
Ron Swanson: Fine. Barbecue is postponed until I can go pick up some meat from the Food 'n' Stuff. Let's go, Tom. No, pig Tom. [Donna laughs]
Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] Tom and April were excellent witnesses in my defense. Unfortunately, every single word out of their mouths was a lie. There's only one thing I hate more than lying. Skim milk. Which is water that's lying about being milk.
Ben: I was actually coming to see you. I wanted your advice on something.
Leslie Knope: Oh, yeah?
Ben: My boss in Indianapolis... He wants me back on the road in a week. But then this morning Chris offered me a job to stay here in Pawnee and work for him.
Leslie Knope: Do you want to do that?
Ben: Well, I don't know. I've been moving around so much the past few years, it might be nice to stay in one place for a while. What do you think?
Leslie Knope: Well, this is a great city. You know, it's definitely the best city in Indiana, probably America, possibly the world.
Leslie Knope: But on the other hand, you've put in 12 years with the state government.
Ben: So you think I should say no to Chris and head back to Indianapolis or...?
Leslie Knope: It's a tough call. You know what I would do? You should make a pros and cons list. That always works for me.
Ben: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay, maybe I'll do that.
Leslie Knope: Excellent. Nice talking to you.
Ben: Good stuff.
Leslie Knope: Maybe I should just do impressions. "I'm-a Borat." There's one. But I need to do someone that no one has heard before. Like, I don't know, Neve Campbell? What does Neve Campbell sound like?
Donna: [mumbling] I don't know.
Leslie Knope: Someone, [bleep] tell me what Neve Campbell sounds like.
Ben: Hey, I got your text. What are you doing?
Leslie Knope: I grabbed all of the brownies from the dessert table and four bottles of wine. Get in the car. We're going to Australia.
Leslie Knope: I am so sorry for everything. I love you, and I want to be on your team. I am on your team, but I think that our team should be far away from here.
Ben: Normally, I would get in the cab with you, but I am so sick of them ruining everything, and I really liked that unity quilt.
Leslie Knope: It was a good quilt.
Ben: It was an awesome quilt. Look, my parents are insane, but they need to be at our wedding. You know what? It's time for this team to come up with a new plan. I agree.
Leslie Knope: Phase one of our new plan, you get in the backseat of this cab, and we hardcore make out for 15 minutes.
Ben: I would love to do that. I'm just not sure if the driver would be okay with it.
Man: For another 100 bucks, you can do whatever you want.
Ben: Let's do this.