Parks and Recreation Quotes
- Season 1
- Season 2
- Season 3
- Season 4
- Season 5
- Ms. Knope Goes to Washington
- Soda Tax
- How a Bill Becomes a Law
- Sex Education
- Halloween Surprise
- Ben's Parents
- Leslie vs. April
- Pawnee Commons
- Ron and Diane
- Two Parties
- Women in Garbage
- Ann's Decision
- Emergency Response
- Leslie and Ben
- Correspondents' Lunch
- Animal Control
- Article Two
- Jerry's Retirement
- Swing Vote
- Are You Better Off?
- Season 6
- London (Part 1)
- London (Part 2)
- The Pawnee-Eagleton Tip Off Classic
- Gin It Up!
- Recall Vote
- The Cones of Dunshire
- Second Chunce
- New Beginnings
- Farmers Market
- Ann and Chris
- The Wall
- New Slogan
- Galentine's Day
- Flu Season 2
- One in 8,000
- Moving Up (Part 1)
- Moving Up (Part 2)
- Season 7
Parks and Recreation
Parks and Recreation centers on Leslie Knope, a mid-level bureaucrat in the parks department of the fictional town of Pawnee, Indiana, who is determined to use her position to improve the lives of the town's residents.
Starring: Amy Poehler, Rashida Jones, Aziz Ansari, Nick Offerman, Aubrey Plaza, Chris Pratt, Adam Scott, Rob Lowe, Jim O'Heir, Retta.
Original Run: 2009-2015.
Quote of the Day
Saturday, January 23, 2021
Tom: She says, "you get out of a job what you put into it." You just need to find a project you're passionate about. For instance, I was incredible at naming drinks at the Snakehole Lounge because I care a great deal about signature beverages. The Beer-yonce Knowles. It's just a regular beer, but we put it in a sexy-ass mug. Pairs nicely with the Jay-zima. We bought a bunch of zima when the factory shut down.
Ron Swanson: That's your will? You need that many pages to say, "Give my stuff to my wife"?
Ben: It's a complicated legal document.
Ron Swanson: It doesn't have to be. I've had the same will since I was eight years old.
Ben: "Upon my death, all of my belongings shall transfer to the man or animal who has killed me." What are these weird symbols?
Ron Swanson: The man who kills me will know.
Ranger Patrick: Hey, Ron. You're not going to slaughter that pig here, are you?
Ron Swanson: Not to worry. I have a permit.
Ranger Patrick: This just says, "I can do what I want."
Ron Swanson: I am the director of the Parks Department, and this is a park.
Ranger Patrick: It's not a Parks thing. It's against, like, three laws and a dozen health codes.
Ron Swanson: Fine. Barbecue is postponed until I can go pick up some meat from the Food 'n' Stuff. Let's go, Tom. No, pig Tom. [Donna laughs]
Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] Tom and April were excellent witnesses in my defense. Unfortunately, every single word out of their mouths was a lie. There's only one thing I hate more than lying. Skim milk. Which is water that's lying about being milk.
Craig: [sings] Funny, though it's true Those silly things you do They only bring me closer To you [applause]
Tom: Nice crooning, buddy. The gentleman over by the bar there sent you over this glass of wine and his business card.
Craig: [to Typhoon] Okay, fine.
Leslie Knope: I know you were excited to get in front of the committee and rip it, but in the spirit of teamwork, I unilaterally decided to bring Stu out of retirement. So pressure's off.
Tom: What? I spent a lot of time on this.
Leslie Knope: Doin' what, putting mousse in your hair?
Tom: It's a gel-based serum. Second of all, who uses mousse still? Oh, God. Leslie. Let's put our differences aside for a second. Friend to friend, do you still use mousse?
Leslie Knope: No, I use the juicy space thing. Whatever you do.
Leslie Knope: Our research shows that our park will draw 5,000 visitors a year, and I want this to be the most amazing, awe-inspiring, fun-filled park ever conceived.
Chris: Now how big is the park, exactly?
Leslie Knope: It is .000003 square miles.
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: Recently, the last remaining telephone booths in Pawnee were torn down, and on that patch of concrete, I am creating Pawnee's newest tourist attraction: The smallest park in Indiana. The title is currently held by Martin Luther King, Jr. Park in Terryville, but guess what? Terryville sucks old car tires, and so does Martin Luther- No, he does not suck old car tires. He was one of the greatest men in history. I'm sorry. Sometimes I get competitive.