Parks and Recreation Quotes
- Season 1
- Season 2
- Season 3
- Season 4
- Season 5
- Ms. Knope Goes to Washington
- Soda Tax
- How a Bill Becomes a Law
- Sex Education
- Halloween Surprise
- Ben's Parents
- Leslie vs. April
- Pawnee Commons
- Ron and Diane
- Two Parties
- Women in Garbage
- Ann's Decision
- Emergency Response
- Leslie and Ben
- Correspondents' Lunch
- Animal Control
- Article Two
- Jerry's Retirement
- Swing Vote
- Are You Better Off?
- Season 6
- London (Part 1)
- London (Part 2)
- The Pawnee-Eagleton Tip Off Classic
- Gin It Up!
- Recall Vote
- The Cones of Dunshire
- Second Chunce
- New Beginnings
- Farmers Market
- Ann and Chris
- The Wall
- New Slogan
- Galentine's Day
- Flu Season 2
- One in 8,000
- Moving Up (Part 1)
- Moving Up (Part 2)
- Season 7
Parks and Recreation
Parks and Recreation centers on Leslie Knope, a mid-level bureaucrat in the parks department of the fictional town of Pawnee, Indiana, who is determined to use her position to improve the lives of the town's residents.
Starring: Amy Poehler, Rashida Jones, Aziz Ansari, Nick Offerman, Aubrey Plaza, Chris Pratt, Adam Scott, Rob Lowe, Jim O'Heir, Retta.
Original Run: 2009-2015.
Quote of the Day
Thursday, April 15, 2021
Leslie Knope: We know that you were already approached by Sweetums and you said "No," but is there any way you would reconsider?
Perd Hapley: I'm sorry, Miss Knope. There is such a thing as journalistic integrity, and it is something that I have as a journalist with integrity.
Ann: It's really important, Perd. Please? Come on. For old time's sake.
Perd Hapley: Well, the story of that appeal is it was heartfelt. And in response to that appeal, I respond: Okay.
Ron Swanson: That's your will? You need that many pages to say, "Give my stuff to my wife"?
Ben: It's a complicated legal document.
Ron Swanson: It doesn't have to be. I've had the same will since I was eight years old.
Ben: "Upon my death, all of my belongings shall transfer to the man or animal who has killed me." What are these weird symbols?
Ron Swanson: The man who kills me will know.
Ranger Patrick: Hey, Ron. You're not going to slaughter that pig here, are you?
Ron Swanson: Not to worry. I have a permit.
Ranger Patrick: This just says, "I can do what I want."
Ron Swanson: I am the director of the Parks Department, and this is a park.
Ranger Patrick: It's not a Parks thing. It's against, like, three laws and a dozen health codes.
Ron Swanson: Fine. Barbecue is postponed until I can go pick up some meat from the Food 'n' Stuff. Let's go, Tom. No, pig Tom. [Donna laughs]
Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] Tom and April were excellent witnesses in my defense. Unfortunately, every single word out of their mouths was a lie. There's only one thing I hate more than lying. Skim milk. Which is water that's lying about being milk.
Tom: Business at Rent-a-Swag could not be better. Yesterday Jaden Smith came in, and he was like, "Look, I want to quit the music/acting business and work here with you." And I was like, "Jaden, be serious. The world needs you. You have a gift."
Trevor Nelsson: Ever since my client opened his store across the street, your sales have plummeted. It's only a matter of time before you're out of business. But my client has had a moment of weakness, something he referred to as "sympathy"? He's made you a final offer... $40,000 for Rent-a-Swag and all of its contents. I suggest you take it.
Tom: Well, I've heard all the facts, and it's pretty obvious what I have to do... Get a big old mug of hot chocolate, put on my thinking PJs, and get back to you.
Trevor Nelsson: The offer is valid for 48 hours. We would also be interested in acquiring your thinking PJs.
Tom: Listen to me very carefully. No matter what happens, you will never acquire my thinking PJs or my YouTube blazer... Nonnegotiable.
Producer: Support for Pawnee Community Radio comes from listeners like you and from the new film The Shadows of Seven Heads, the dramic tale of an Israeli soldier who falls in love with conjoined Palestinian sextuplets. Out soon from Focus Features.
Derry Murbles: Welcome to "Thought For Your Thoughts." I'm your host Derry Murbles, sitting in for Nina Joplin, who is touring the country performing a spoken-word opera about pear-shaped women. My guest today is City Councilwoman Leslie Knope.
Leslie Knope: It is a pleasure to be back, Derry. Your show last week on dolphin lactation was just riveting radio. Derry, my team and I are trying to build a park, and we need input on the design from you, the citizens of Pawnee. So I guess I'm here to send out the Bat-Signal.
Derry Murbles: A Bat-Signal, for listeners who might not know, refers to the children's character "the Bat-Man" a strong gentleman who fights crime nocturnally.
Leslie Knope: That's correct. Well put. This park is going to be a celebration of Pawnee by Pawnee and for Pawnee. So, you know, send in your plan or your resume... And quick. Please. Hurry. This is all gonna fall apart if you don't hurry.
Derry Murbles: Coming up after the break, movie reviews with Ken Tucker who is filling in for David Bianculli who's in New York filling in for Ken Tucker. Leslie, would you like to introduce the next segment?
Leslie Knope: Okay. "Now it's time for 'Jazz Plus Jazz Equals Jazz,' today we have a recording of Benny Goodman played over a separate recording of Miles Davis." [both recordings playing simultaneously]
Derry Murbles: Research shows that our listeners love jazz.
Craig: [sings] Funny, though it's true Those silly things you do They only bring me closer To you [applause]
Tom: Nice crooning, buddy. The gentleman over by the bar there sent you over this glass of wine and his business card.
Craig: [to Typhoon] Okay, fine.