Parks and Recreation Quotes

Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation centers on Leslie Knope, a mid-level bureaucrat in the parks department of the fictional town of Pawnee, Indiana, who is determined to use her position to improve the lives of the town's residents.

Starring: Amy Poehler, Rashida Jones, Aziz Ansari, Nick Offerman, Aubrey Plaza, Chris Pratt, Adam Scott, Rob Lowe, Jim O'Heir, Retta.
Original Run: 2009-2015.

Quote of the Day

Sunday, January 24, 2021

Quote from April in Flu Season 2

April: I'm getting notes of dried robin's blood, old dirty cashews, and just a hint of a robot's bathwater.

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Quote from Ron Swanson in Gin It Up!

Ron Swanson: That's your will? You need that many pages to say, "Give my stuff to my wife"?
Ben: It's a complicated legal document.
Ron Swanson: It doesn't have to be. I've had the same will since I was eight years old.
Ben: "Upon my death, all of my belongings shall transfer to the man or animal who has killed me." What are these weird symbols?
Ron Swanson: The man who kills me will know.

Quote from Ron Swanson in Ms. Knope Goes to Washington

Ranger Patrick: Hey, Ron. You're not going to slaughter that pig here, are you?
Ron Swanson: Not to worry. I have a permit.
Ranger Patrick: This just says, "I can do what I want."
Ron Swanson: I am the director of the Parks Department, and this is a park.
Ranger Patrick: It's not a Parks thing. It's against, like, three laws and a dozen health codes.
Ron Swanson: Fine. Barbecue is postponed until I can go pick up some meat from the Food 'n' Stuff. Let's go, Tom. No, pig Tom. [Donna laughs]

Quote from Ron Swanson in Partridge

Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] Tom and April were excellent witnesses in my defense. Unfortunately, every single word out of their mouths was a lie. There's only one thing I hate more than lying. Skim milk. Which is water that's lying about being milk.

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Quote from Craig in One Last Ride (Part 1)

[Pawnee, 2019:]
Craig: [sings] Funny, though it's true Those silly things you do They only bring me closer To you [applause]
Tom: Nice crooning, buddy. The gentleman over by the bar there sent you over this glass of wine and his business card.
Craig: [to Typhoon] Okay, fine.

Quote from Leslie Knope in Anniversaries

Producer: Additional support for Pawnee Public Radio comes from the Edgar C. and Janis R. Lumway Foundation and the Richard and Lois Wallenberg Foundation Foundation, dedicated to the idea that all human beings deserve a chance to hear about foundations.
Derry Murbles: Welcome to Thought For Your Thoughts. I'm your Pawneean host, Derry Murbles.
August Clementine: And I'm your Eagletonian host, August Clementine.
Derry Murbles: Yes, if you have not heard our program in a while, Thought For Your Thoughts now has a co-host, thanks to the Pawnee-Eagleton merger.
August Clementine: I believe that is the Eagleton-Pawnee merger, n'est-ce pas?
Derry Murbles: I'd like to apologize to our listeners for my co-host's sudden and violent outburst just now. Our guest is former city councilwoman Leslie Knope. Leslie, thought...
August Clementine: For your thoughts. I said it.
Derry Murbles: Absorb the aggression, Derry. Absorb the aggression.
Leslie Knope: Well, I just want to say thank you so much for having me. It's a thrill to be here. As a listener, I think the merging of your two shows has really created such a big, quiet, arcane ball of fun.

Quote from Tom in New Beginnings

Leslie Knope: I know you were excited to get in front of the committee and rip it, but in the spirit of teamwork, I unilaterally decided to bring Stu out of retirement. So pressure's off.
Tom: What? I spent a lot of time on this.
Leslie Knope: Doin' what, putting mousse in your hair?
Tom: It's a gel-based serum. Second of all, who uses mousse still? Oh, God. Leslie. Let's put our differences aside for a second. Friend to friend, do you still use mousse?
Leslie Knope: No, I use the juicy space thing. Whatever you do.