Leslie Knope: Ken Hotate. Great bow tie, is that new?
Ken Hotate: Why, yes it is. My son sells them on Etsy. He is a huge disappointment.
Leslie Knope: Oh, well.

Leslie Knope: Now that we're chatting, the National Park Service is looking to buy the Newport land. But we're a little short on funds.
Ken Hotate: How short?
Leslie Knope: $88 million. What do you say you put some of that casino money to good use?
Ken Hotate: You know, we have been considering opening a second resort.
Leslie Knope: No, it would be a donation. The government would keep the land.
Ken Hotate: So you would like the Wamapoke people to pay the federal government millions of dollars to buy land that was stolen from us by the federal government? And we don't even get to keep the land?
Leslie Knope: Well, when you put it like that, I see the irony. So are you in? No? What if I buy some of your disappointing son's bolo ties? Damn it.

Leslie Knope: Now, I know all of you are off doing your own things and we don't see each other as much as we used to, but I need my old team back for one last mission. So hands in. Defeat Ron on three. One, two, three!
Tom: Ooh. Actually, Ron promised me I could build a restaurant on the new Gryzzl campus so I'm kind of totally on Ron's side.
Leslie Knope: Okay. Tom's dead to me. Donna? Waiting for your hand.
Donna: Yeah, Ron hired Regal Meagle realty to broker the deal. And I'm gonna need the money for my wedding.
Leslie Knope: [gasps]
Donna: Shia LaBeouf-designed wedding dresses do not come cheap.

Jerry: Well, never fear, because Terry is here. Yes, I go by Terry now.
[aside to camera:]
Jerry: Because there was a guy at National Parks, he was already named Larry. So they suggested I go by Terry. And then I said my real name is Garry and they said, who cares. So. It's just a fun group.

Leslie Knope: Ron? How could you?
Ron Swanson: I simply took a skewer for one shrimp and added many shrimp to it. They're long enough for five or six.
Leslie Knope: First you try to steal my park and now you steal my team?
Ron Swanson: I didn't steal them. They're independent people who have moved onto better things, just like you did. Bacon-wrapped shrimp. I fit seven on this one. It's a masterpiece.

Leslie Knope: Why are you even here? What have you ever done for this city?
Ron Swanson: My company has stimulated Pawnee's economy. You're just still upset about Morningstar.
Leslie Knope: I told you to never say that word to me. No one should ever say that word out loud. It's like Voldemort. Or Ron.

Tom: What up, playa? Just wanted to apologize for my intro running long. But, uh, you know. When it comes to inspirational Will Smith quotes, how are you gonna stop at ten?
Ben: You know, when the Chamber of Commerce asked you to introduce me, I was a little worried you would spend the entire time talking about yourself, which is exactly what you did.
Tom: I'm sorry. Truth is, they didn't ask me to introduce you. I asked them if I could do it. I was gonna talk about how I owe you so much. How you stood by me through all my failures and I stood by you through all your terrible outfits. But when I got up there, I got pretty emotional. To make it up to you, I'd like to read you the speech now. I've known a lot of ballers in my day. But no man balls harder than the man I'm about to bring up. He's kind, he's intelligent. [sobs] He's a person I'm deeply proud to call my friend.
[aside to camera:]
Ben: Pretty good speech. I mean, it was, um... a little sappy, maybe. [sobs] I think I liked it.
Tom: [sobbing]

Leslie Knope: I mean, there were rumors that they were gonna announce it next month, but they must have gotten impatient. Okay. Whatever they say, we need to come up with 10,000 possible responses to 10,000 possible scenarios.
Ben: Okay, just to remind you, I don't work for the National Park Service.
Leslie Knope: Yeah, yeah, yeah. How are those scenarios coming?

Ben: Okay, look. Before we go in there, you need to know something. He's here.
Leslie Knope: Who's here?
Ben: The guy whose name you forbid me from saying out loud because it fills you with rage.
Leslie Knope: [groans]
Ben: Look, I don't know who he's working for, but I guess he's part of one of the bidding groups. Are you gonna be able to be civil in there?
Leslie Knope: I'm perfectly civil. He's the stupid garbage-head doo-doo face.
Ben: Perfect.

Trevor Nelsson: Thank you all for coming. I am Trevor Nelsson, legal council to the Newport family. The Newport family trust intends to sell a 25-square mile parcel of pristine, undeveloped land containing Lake Eagleton and the Southern Indiana foothills.
Ben: Why now? The Newports have owned this land for 100 years.
Trevor Nelsson: Thanks to the recent economic boom in Pawnee, real estate prices are at an all time high. And in the words of Jessica Wicks-Newport, heir to the entire Newport fortune, quote, "It's time to trade those dumb, old trees for a butt load of cash."
Jessica Wicks: It is. It truly is.