Winston: Meow. Meow, meow, meow! Here, kitty cat. You're a baby covered in hair... This is the voice I used to use to make Furguson come to me.
Aly: Honey, are you sure you're hearing a cat? 'Cause, you know, maybe it's just a little... voice in...
Winston: Baby, it's a cat. Okay? I know a meow when I hear one.
Aly: Guys, can you help us "look for the cat," so I can talk to Winston?

Schmidt: Hey, can you come here for a sec? You were great tonight, by the way.
Dunston: Oh, thank you.
Cece: You did a very good job under difficult circumstances.
Dunston: Thank you very much.
Schmidt: So I'm gonna die, and I need you to take care of my wife.
Dunston: Super.
Cece: We're fine. Thank you.
Schmidt: Okay.
Cece: [laughing] Okay. [Cece and Schmidt kiss]
Dunston: Should I join in or just watch? What exactly are we doing here?

Jess: Who wants to begin?
Nick: I mean... [sighs] I'm not even mad about the money. I'm just mad that Coach and I never talk anymore.
Coach: What are you talking about, man? I called and asked you if elephants are basically pigs, and you were like "no," and I was like "cool."
Nick: Yeah, and that was an awesome conversation. It was also three years ago, man. We haven't talked since. I mean, honestly, I'd pay another $70,000 to have my friend back.

Coach: I'm gonna pay you back, man. No matter how long it takes. I promise. And to prove it to you, I... brought $5,000 as your first installment.
Jess: You brought it in cash? Why is everyone so cavalier about large sums of money? You just dropped, like, $600.

Cece: Oh, buddy.
Schmidt: Hey, buddy.
Coach: Hey, buddy.
Nick: Hey, buddy.
Jess: Hey, buddy.
Winston: Oh, I like it when y'all call me "buddy." It's nice. Also, you can stop looking for the cat. I don't want to blow you guys' minds, but, uh... it ain't real.
Schmidt: What? The cat isn't real? That's a... This is all so Shyamalanian.

Winston: I guess I just been keeping things bottled up a little too tight. [cat meowing]
Aly: Shh. Okay, I can't even believe I'm saying this, but I think I hear a cat.
Winston: Come on, now.
Aly: No, I'm serious. Listen. [meowing]
Nick: Well, I did not see that coming.
Schmidt: It's coming from the couch.

Woman: Hey. You found my cat.
Winston: Well...
Jess: Oh, that's the bartender's bar cat.
Nick: I'm sorry, but, uh, that cat's gone.
Woman: Give me my cat back.
Jess: Wait. Um, what if we were to offer you $5,000 in cash for the cat?
Woman: Oh, yeah, then, totally. That'd be fine.
Nick: $5,000. Curious, what's the lowest amount you would have taken for that cat?
Woman: I don't know, maybe, like, uh, 50 bucks?
Nick: $50.
Woman: Yeah.
Nick: That's considerably less than $5,000.
Woman: Oh, yeah.
Nick: Here you go.

Cece: I don't know what's with everyone today. Schmidt won't stop asking me what I'm gonna do when he dies, Dr. Sam's wearing a ridiculous shirt, and Outside Dave is inside.
Outside Dave: The sky is so close, and it's made of wood.