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‘Tuesday Meeting’ Quotes Page 1 of 3

New Girl: Tuesday Meeting

702. Tuesday Meeting

Aired April 17, 2018

Jess has a boozy lunch with Cece as she considers telling Russell she's quitting. Nick loses his confidence as an author after his publisher rejects his latest Pepperwood novel. Meanwhile, Winston binges on the Three Men and a... movies.

Quote from Cece

Cece: Wait, so, you're saying that you're doing Russell's busywork? That you, Jessica Day, former principal of an entire school, is doing his busywork? Nah, girl. Nah, hold up. One sec. [drinks coffee]
Jess: How's that wine and coffee combination treating you?
Cece: My heart is beating really fast, but time is moving really slow, so it all kind of evens out.

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Quote from Cece

Cece: Every woman has a "Tuesday meeting" they haven't been invited to. How many times in your life have you been excluded from something important or talked over or ignored because you're the only woman in the room? It was different when I was running my own company, but ever since we joined with GKM, I've had to start dealing with this male-pattern dumbness.
[flashback:]
Ken: Ugh. What is that?
Cece: It's a breast pump, Ken. I said I needed time to pump, and you refused to change the meeting, so here we are. Now, for the jeans campaign. Which one of these guys says, "I'm having fun in Toronto"? [pumping continues]
[present:]
Cece: So, for half an hour, they had to sit there and watch me get milked like a freaking cow.
Jess: Oh, yeah, your nipples looked like pizza bagels in that thing.
Cece: Yeah, they do.

Quote from Winston

Winston: You know something, I used to think that Nick was the Guttenberg, but it turns out he may be the little lady.

Quote from Winston

Nick: [sings] Goodnight, sweetheart, well, my friends are liars
Schmidt: [sings] We were just trying To help you write...
Winston: Guys, you see what we're doing? We're doing Three Men and a Baby.
Schmidt: Winston, you cannot do a movie.
Nick: Can't do a movie.
Winston: Yes, you can. You can do any movie except for a documentary, because those already happened.

Quote from Winston

Winston: Oh, hell yeah. Hey, what's up, guys? What are you doing here? Check this out. Look what I found. Three Men and a Little Box Set. The lady and the baby. I got to watch this.
Jess: Winston.
Winston: Hmm?
Jess: How long have you been here?
Winston: Not long, like, three, four, five hours. Something like that.
Nick: You don't live here, man.
Winston: I'm doing a slow move.

Quote from Winston

Winston: Oh, man, she's so lucky to have three dads. [Nick enters] Hey, have you seen this?
Nick: Come on, man.
Winston: These three goofballs just hid heroin in the baby's diaper disposal. What a ride!

Quote from Schmidt

Winston: Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Are you guys seeing this? I just thought of it just now. Three Men and a Little Lady. One, two, three. We should do this movie with Ruth.
Schmidt: Winston, you cannot do a movie. What is that goon Guttenberg painting on the walls? Words sound weird to me when I'm this tired. That ever happen to you? Like, Gu-Guttenberg. Gu...
Winston: Gu...
Nick: Gu... Enough, guys!
Schmidt: Gu'enberg.

Quote from Nick

Nick: That's what I'm saying... I don't have the answer. I mean, Pepperwood was all that I had. Now I've got nothing. I feel like I'm, like, a wood-maker who can't make any, um...
Schmidt & Winston: Wood.
Nick: See, I don't have anything! I knew it! I got nothing!

Quote from Nick

Winston: Nick, you have a ton of ideas, okay? A lot of i... ...idea notebooks.
Nick: I don't want to hear this.
Winston: Here we go. Oh, never mind, that's a maze you drew. Yeah, you drew a maze... then couldn't solve it. You went straight for the wall.
Nick: It was a hard maze.
Schmidt: This one is just a list of words that rhyme with "moon." But then right away, it's "bun." "Moon, spoon, loon, bun"? The heck is this?
Nick: There was no other words that rhymed with "moon."
Winston: "Tune"?
Nick: That's what I'm saying. I don't have a... Pepperwood was all that I had. I've got nothing.

Quote from Winston

Winston: Okay. Here we go. "All reactionaries are paper tigers. In appearance the reactionaries are terrifying, but, in reality, they are not so powerful."
Schmidt: That really grabs you.
Winston: Yeah.
Schmidt: What is that?
Winston: It's, uh... Mao's Little Red Book.
Schmidt: The Chinese communist manifesto?
Winston: Yes.
Schmidt: Read that again.
Winston: "All reactionaries are paper tigers..."

Quote from Nick

Schmidt: Why aren't you writing?
Nick: I was writing, but I got so inspired by the pages that you found that I drove straight to Merle's office.
[flashback:]
Merle Streep: "Revolutionary culture is a powerful revolutionary weapon for the broad masses of the people." Hey, w-what do you call this again?
Nick: Johnny's Big Day at Work.
Merle Streep: Nice. I have another title for you.
[present:]
Nick: Mao's Little Red Book?!
Schmidt: Shh! Please, voices.
Nick: Mao's Little Red Book?!

Quote from Nick

Nick: And now I'm not just a hack with bad ideas, but I'm a filthy commie!
Schmidt: Shh. Please!
Nick: And you know I'm no commie!
Schmidt: I don't know your personal beliefs.
Nick: You don't know my personal beliefs?
Schmidt: Enough!
Nick: Those are fightin' words.

Quote from Nick

Schmidt: We didn't think that you were gonna give those actual pages to your editor. We were just trying to inspire you. Also, why do you own that book?
Nick: You see a red book, you buy a red book.
Schmidt: What do you do with blue books?
Nick: Don't buy.
Schmidt: Yellow books?
Nick: Wait on it.
Winston: That's true.

Quote from Nick

Ruth: Weren't you ever little like me, Uncle Nick?
Nick: Of course I was little like you. Don't you know anything? I was born on a cold, lonely street on the South Side of Chicago. As rumor has it, and there's no proof of this, obviously, but I delivered myself. It was my fifth birthday party, there was a knock at the door. My father jumped up, gave us all a thumbs-up, gave me a wink, then he jumped out the window, bounced up, took off running.
Winston: Oh, wow...
Nick: I didn't see him for six months. [cut] My only babysitter at the time was a rollercoaster at a local amusement park. That and a pack of cigarettes. Being nine in Chicago is different. [cut] The tree fell, hit the power line, and the power line fell right on the hobo, shocking the hobo back to life. That was an amazing moment. I don't know, it made me question the existence of God. I believed entirely in fate, and it was that same fate that brought me to the woman I love today.
Winston: Uh, Nick, go back. Uh, what happened to the hobo?
Nick: He stood up, he spun around, he said, "Time to get a job," and he walked away.

Quote from Nick

Nick: Guys, let's take five. Or as Pepperwood would always say, "Keep your knife dry."
Cooper: #KeepYourKnife...
Nick: Half that. #KeepTheKnifeDry.
Cooper: Hashtag.

Quote from Jess

Nick: Oof. I've got to go meet with my editor. We're gonna talk about the latest Pepperwood.
Jess: Oh, the one you wrote in Europe? He's gonna love it. Way more than the last book he published, Dede, the Girl with A.D.D. That wouldn't even keep my attention.
Nick: Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo.
Jess: Burn.
Nick: Burn.

Quote from Jess

Jess: I'm a working girl now. Russell and I are building libraries. He's got me rolling up my sleeves to make it happen.
[flashback:]
Jess: [on the phone] Hi, this is Jessica Day from the Schiller Fund. I'm just calling to make sure this is still the number for a Mr. Marvin Linklever. It is? I'll put a check by your name.
Russell: When you're done with the "L" s, this is the first batch of "M" s.
[present:]
Nick: Sounds like a lot of busywork.
Jess: You cool with that? I'm leaning toward no. I'm listening. But at least I have time to have lunch with my girl Cece. We're celebrating me getting this... glamorous new job.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: [on the phone with Cece] Cece, I was up all night trying to put Ruth to sleep. I'm losing my mind. I feel like I'm in the third act of a Darren Aronofsky film.
Ruth: Cheers, Daddy!
Cece: Yeah, tell me about it. I'm wiped, too. I think I put on your underwear this morning.
Schmidt: If I'm being totally honest, I wore your underpants once to a yoga class. Ruth, do you want to go to sleep?
Ruth: No way.
Cece: If you do, I'll write you a check for $6,000.
Ruth: Checks! Checks! Yay, checks!
Schmidt: That didn't quite go as planned.
Cece: You know what, all I actually have to do is get to this lunch with Jess. Which is gonna be really fun.
Ruth: Let's play patty-cake.
Cece: Sorry to talk about a fun lunch while you're at home.
Schmidt: No, look, we have a kid now. One of us should be enjoying our lives.
Cece: [yawning] Yeah, you're right. We should enjoy our lives.
Schmidt: Go to your adult lunch. Eat, drink, and come home and tell me of the world out there. Remember me to the people. Cece, I-I love you. C-Cece? Hello?

Quote from Nick

Merle Streep: Nick... I don't know where to begin.
Nick: I know. Pepperwood's growing up. He's becoming... transcendent.
Merle Streep: Unbearable. What is this fluff? You've got two chapters of Pepperwood and Jessica Night in bed eating croissants. They chase a feather down a cobblestone street?
Nick: He fell in love, Merle. And then he was reborn. And it's sweet when you think about it like that.
Merle Streep: Okay, I've seen this a million times. Your life has changed, and now you've lost his voice. I can't publish this.
Nick: What? What are you saying? Pepperwood's over?
Merle Streep: Maybe it's run its course. Maybe it's time to move on to something new.

Quote from Nick

Merle Streep: You have other ideas, right?
Nick: Oh, yeah, a ton of 'em.
Merle Streep: Okay. All right.
Nick: So many.
Merle Streep: Great.
Nick: In my computer drawer at home.
Merle Streep: Well, why don't you come in tomorrow, pitch me your best three, and we'll see what we got.
Nick: No. I want to pitch you my best ten. I'm gonna pitch you three.
Merle Streep: Let's make it three. That seems...

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