‘The Landlord’
Season 1, Episode 12 - Aired February 7, 2012
Jess tries to convince Nick that people can be good, including their cantankerous landlord (guest star Jeff Krober). Meanwhile, Schmidt isn't sure whether his boss is hitting on him.
Quote from Jess
Remy: Yeah, get into it.
Nick: Oh, I am so into this. I can't wait till we're all menage-ing. Are you into this, Jess?
Jess: Yeah.
Nick: Say you're wrong.
Jess: No, turn this up. It's great.
Nick: Say it's over, and it's over.
Quote from Nick
Remy: Go ahead.
Nick: ...getting it started.
Remy: You know what to do. Breathe into each other.
Nick: Oh, yeah, Jess.
Remy: I'm not here.
Nick: Relax into the menage.
Quote from Jess
Jess: No, okay! Fine, I admit it, I'm wrong.
Nick: Yes! Yes!
Jess: I'm sorry, Remy.
Remy: What, we're not doing this?
Jess: No.
Nick: We're not doing it.
Remy: I get it, cold feet is just, you know, it's part of the journey, so...
Nick: Whoa! What is going on in here?
Remy: All right, I am not ready for a four-way. That's, uh, I'm-I'm... I'm out of this.
Quote from Jess
Nick: To be honest, I'm kind of riding a weird ego high.
Jess: Why didn't you tell me four people couldn't live in this apartment? If we're gonna do a shenanigan, I'm fine with doing shenanigans. I love shenanigans, as long as no one gets hurt.
[There's a loud popping sound as Winston tries to turn on the lights from a distance]
Winston: Okay, just so we're clear, we're gonna have to live with this, right?
Jess: Yep.
Nick: Absolutely.