Schmidt: Nick, take your clothes off.
Nick: What?! Why?!
Schmidt: I just got your suit pressed.

Nick: Hey, are we positive that this hospital has a baby department?
Jess: I think so.
Nick: I hope so.

Jess: Hey, Russell. Catch. Your sixth wife is out there somewhere. It's just not me.
Russell: Good-bye, Jess.
Jess: Good-bye, Russell. Hey, do the right thing and get us the most expensive thing on the registry.
[As Jess goes into the hospital, Russell looks up at his rear-view mirror and sees a man in the back of his car.]
Tran: Drive.

Jess: Sorry about your hand. [Nick groans] At least we're in a hospital. Does it hurt?
Nick: Definitely. Russell is shockingly strong. Especially for a boy his age.
Jess: I guess the curse is real.
Nick: Yeah, we got evicted. A bird deuced on my shoulder. I say this with love, but your eye is trash.
Jess: Merle went crazy and decided that a book about a hobo with electric ankles wasn't a home run. And now I'm out of a job.
Nick: We don't have a home. I mean, we're cursed. [laughs] It's kind of our thing.
Jess: Yeah, it is.
Nick: I mean, even the first time I kissed you, you know, you were still dating Dr. Sam.
Jess: And now here we are in a hospital waiting room, three miles away from our wedding. Figures. Sounds like us.

Jess: Hey, do you remember on our first date we wrote how we felt about each other on two valet tickets?
Nick: Ah, Jess, I'm sorry. I was just scared to tell you how I really felt.
Jess: I was scared, too. We've both been scared about so many things for so long, and you know what? I don't care about the past or the future. All that I care about is right now, right here, you and me.
Nick: I just want to have a weird, wonderful life together. You know? I want to get married and I want to take care of you, and I don't even care about a stupid curse.

Winston: Guys, guess what.
Jess: Oh, my God.
Nick: Is the baby here?
Winston: No, Aly's only three centimeters. It's gonna be another 13 hours. Yeah, the doctor told me to run around and burn off some energy. I was not being helpful. I'm excited! [laughs]

Winston: Can we hurry this along? We're three minutes till the next contraction.
Aly: Oh, no, I'm wearing white to a wedding.

Nick: Hey.
Jess: Hey.
Nick: We doing this, Jessica Day?
Jess: We're doing this, Nick Miller.
Nick: It's about damn time. [Jess chuckles]