‘Raisin's Back’
Season 6, Episode 11 - Aired January 3, 2017
Nick is determined not to make a big deal of things when Reagan moves back into the loft. Meanwhile, Winston and Cece make their own EDM track to show Schmidt he has terrible taste in music.
Quote from Winston
Winston: Well, look who it is. Raisin. I said, "Raisin" again, didn't I?
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: I think I have some speakers behind the bar. I'll just hook up my phone.
Winston: Wait, wait, wait. Time out, time out, time out. I know I just did something really stupid, but why do you automatically get to be in charge of the music?
Schmidt: 'Cause I have the best taste. [Cece and Winston laughing]
Cece: Oh, no, no, babe.
Winston: All you like is electronica.
Schmidt: It's EDM, electronic dance music...
Cece: Yeah, here we go.
Schmidt: ... or what I like to refer to it as, as just "M"... because it's the only music.
Cece: Music.
Quote from Winston
Winston: Yeah, listen, Schmidt, it's trash.
Schmidt: Need I remind you that you started a petition to get Enya to play at the Super Bowl halftime show?
Winston: You're misrepresenting my petition. Okay? I wanted her to play on the field during the fourth quarter. Schmidt, I bet I could make a fake EDM song and you couldn't tell it apart from a real one. 'Cause they all sound like a robot having a seizure.
Winston: Noice. [clicks fingers with Cece]
Schmidt: [chuckles] Not loving this dynamic.
Cece: We don't care.
Winston: We'll test it out. Cece and I will make a song.
Cece: Ooh.
Winston: And if we fool you, we're in charge of the music in the bar, All Enya, all up in ya.
Quote from Cece
Cece: Is this leading to the secret?
Jess: I don't know, Cece. My brain is a smoking wreckage and I'm trying to find the black box.
Cece: Okay, let's try to jump-start it. Okay? Let me try something. Secret! Secret! Secret!
Jess: What are you doing?
Cece: Secret!
Jess: This is not gonna work.
Cece: Secret!
Jess: It was something about a pool. Oh, my God, Cece. You're amazing. You should work for the CIA.
Cece: I know. Stay focused on the pool.
Quote from Winston
Winston: All right, this one right here is about to set the city up topsy-turvy.
Cece: All right.
Winston: Ferguson going to town on Jess's bunny slippers. [restrained laughter]
Cece: It's not... nothing.
Winston: Ferguson, you nasty.
Cece: Did you hit the button?
Winston: You see, he's a gentle lover. You understand? That's why you can't really hear anything, but you can feel what the slipper is feeling.
Cece: There's no sound.
Winston: No, you got to... He's a...
Cece: I can't hear anything.
Winston: He's a gentle lover.
Cece: There's no sound in there!
Winston: He's a gentle lover!
Cece: You're just there with the phone and there's no sound.
Quote from Winston
Winston: Listen, this is all part of our process, okay? So beat it.
Cece: Yeah. Shoo.
Winston: We got a song to write that's gonna give you the best damn aural you have ever had.
Cece: Check yourself.
Winston: Oh, A-U-R-A-L.
Schmidt: Mmm.
Cece: For your ears.
Winston: Yeah.
Cece: Noice. [Cece and Schmidt click their fingers]
Quote from Winston
Cece: We cannot let him get away with that, okay? We need to dig deep, Winston.
Winston: Do I look scared? [chuckles] Watch this. [Nick moaning] Oh, that's just Nick eating a microwave burrito.
Cece: No, that actually almost works.
Winston: Really?
Cece: Yeah.
Quote from Winston
Nick: What the hell is that?
Winston: Hmm? Oh, I recorded some candid audio. Yeah, I need this track to be real.
Nick: [moaning rhythmically on track]
Jess: [echoing on track] Reagan has a secret apartment.
Cece: [on track] A secret apartment?
Nick: [moaning rhythmically on track]
Schmidt: [on track] Haberman.
Jess: [on track] Reagan has a secret apartment.
Cece: [on track] A secret apartment?
Nick: Wait, what?
Winston: Thank you. It's missing a "what." [records] What?!
Nick: Reagan has a secret apartment?
Winston: You feeling it, huh?
Quote from Nick
Reagan: Let's talk about how mature it is for you to pretend to not care that I switched my job and moved across the country for you.
Nick: You came from Seattle, pal. That's down.
Reagan: Are you a cartographer now?
Nick: Am I a cartographer?
Reagan: Yeah, did you get your Bachelor's in map science?
Nick: That's what a map scientist is? A cartographer?
Reagan: Yes.
Nick: Why is everything a code with you? Just say map scientist.
Quote from Jess
Jess: This is definitely one of those creepy apartment complexes for divorced dads and child actors.