Schmidt Quote #1097
Quote from Schmidt in Return to Sender
Gavin: Oh, don't, don't, don't! Wait! Wait, guys, wait. I know I should have been here an hour ago, but I was at the warehouse getting your security deposit back.
Schmidt: Why would you...
Gavin: Let me finish, trust me. That slumlord wouldn't give it to me unless I cleaned the place, and once I started... I don't know if you know, but I'm a little OCD.
Schmidt: Me, too.
Gavin: Yeah, it runs in the family. Your grandfather had to touch every lamppost he passed. He couldn't hold a job. Until he got a job as a lamppost repair man.
Schmidt: Why wouldn't you just call?
Gavin: Oh, I got kicked in the back of the head by some kids who were using that dump as a place to practice their urban dancing. They-they were honestly pretty good, until they beat me and took my phone. And my wallet and my watch. I had to run over here... well, actually it was... it was more of a... a walk-jog. I threw up once. I'm not very good at doing the right thing when it comes to you. But I wanted to start tonight. You are not getting married at that slaughterhouse.
Schmidt: Okay, well, then where am I getting married?
Gavin: At my vineyard. If you want. It'll be beautiful. I talked to Cece. She said it's up to you. I just want you to know, either way, I'm all in from here on out.
Schmidt: We're getting married at a vineyard.
New Girl Quotes
‘Return to Sender’ Quotes
Quote from Nick
Nick: But if it goes poorly, I'm not putting Humpty Dumpty back together again.
Schmidt: Am I Humpty Dumpty?
Nick: Yeah. I'm just not doing it again.
Schmidt: You won't have to.
Nick: Also, nowhere in that rhyme does it say he's an egg.
Schmidt: He's most definitely an egg, Nick.
Nick: So, what kind of king uses all those resources to put together one egg?
Schmidt: It's a parable. Humpty Dumpty is the king.
Nick: Who told you that?
Quote from Nick
Schmidt: Look, I know you don't trust my dad, but I'm happy that he's here. We're working through stuff.
Nick: Wait, Schmidt, I want you to have a relationship with your father. I really do, but I've been down this road so many times. He just shows up out of the boo, and then all of a sudden expects...
Schmidt: It's "blue". It's "blue."
Nick: Well, thanks, Eye-stein.
Quote from Nick
Nick: Hey, Jess, heads up, I borrowed your towel.
Jess: Use your own towel if you're gonna shower.
Nick: No, I didn't shower, I just sponged off.
Jess: Ew. Ugh! That's even worse. You didn't even get clean before you used the towel.
Nick: It's called a French whore's bath.
Jess: You wouldn't make a dime as a French whore.
Cece: You would make zero dollars.
Nick: I'd make millions, millions. Bonjour. Croissant. Millions.