Nick: So what was our best, in your opinion?
Cece: Ooh, you just walked right into that one.
Jess: Okay, it wasn't something that actually happened. It was historical.
Nick: Oh, historical, so was there a dragon?
Jess: No, it was historical. You think dragons are real?
Nick: I think there's a lot of debate about it. And there's a lot of blogs about it. And I know that as a fact, 'cause I've written one.
Jess: Do you think dinosaurs are dragons?
Nick: There's debate about dragons, Jess, and we're not doing this right now.

Winston: Well, I'm on my way to meet Aly and her boyfriend for brunch. [laughing] And I am super excited to meet him. [normally] Yeah, that was sarcasm. And this is shark-casm: I just hate eating people.

Tripp: 'Sup. Let's talk puss. Ready to show me your hairy little guy?
Schmidt: What?
Winston: Ugh. Oh. Yes, uh... Introducing... The mouse murderin', the heart burglarin', the king of the kennel, Furguson Michael Jordan Bishop. [Furguson purring] He's lickin' his no-no.
Schmidt: America's sweetheart.