Winston Quote #597
Quote from Winston in Jeff Day
Rhonda: I don't like to talk about it around new people, but we were homeless.
Cece: Oh, I'm... I'm so sorry.
Schmidt: I had no idea.
Rhonda: It was tough. We didn't have money for food, clothes, toys. My brother and I adopted a rat. I remember, we called the rat Cingular Wireless. He was sweet. Until he ate my brother's pinkie toe clean off.
Schmidt: [quietly] What?
Rhonda: He bit it like a baby carrot. Just [snapping]. It woke me up.
Schmidt: That snap, that snap.
Rhonda: In the end, we laughed about it, 'cause what else can you do? Just Singular being Singular.
Schmidt: Gosh darn it.
Rhonda: [sighing] He ran away after a while... my brother, not the rat... he didn't get far, obviously, not with nine toes. Listen, it wasn't a great childhood, and I know that I come on strong, but I guess, if I can scare people with my pranks, then I know I'm not the only one who's scared.
Schmidt: What a cruel, terrible world we live in. I had no idea. I'm so, so, so, sorry. [Winston and Rhonda guffawing]
Winston: You're stupid, Schmidt. And you're-you're stupid, too, Cece.
Rhonda: Stupid.
Cece: Okay, wait, so the en... the en... the entire story is a lie?
Rhonda: Rhon. Da'd. Pow-pow.
Features in the collection: Winston Bishop's Pranks and Mess Arounds.
New Girl Quotes
‘Winston Bishop's Pranks and Mess Arounds’
Winston: All right, everybody stop! Wherever you are right now, just sit down! Okay, now, Saturday is a day for sleeping, and damn it, you will not take that away from me! You, give her her scarf back. Finders keepers is not a thing. You, get out of my house!
Holly: Who are you?
Winston: Who am I? Who am I? Well, I am Theodore K. Mullins. And Nick is my lover on the down low. Tell her, Nick. Tell her how it really goes down in apartment 4D. Oh, great Negro spiritual, please come down and loose these chains on this woman! Flesh on flesh. When the lights are off, we are all the same.
Nick: Not true.
Winston: Dear lord, help me, Father! Get out of my house. Get out of my house!
Quote from Winston in Engram Pattersky
Winston: Gotcha! [laughs] Prank Sinatra, baby!
Cece: What?
Schmidt: I don't get it. The truck is the prank? What, did you pay the rental fee? Winston, that's just nice.
Winston: You didn't have to move.
Nick: Yes, we did have to move, you idiot. We got evicted.
Jess: What is he talking about?
Nick: I have no idea.
Winston: Engram Pattersky. If you rearrange those letters, what does it spell?
Jess: "My greatest prank."
Winston: My greatest prank!
‘Jeff Day’ Quotes
Quote from Nick
Nick: I had him right where I wanted him.
Jess: He's trying to bait and switch us, and you're gobbling it up like an old king with a turkey leg.
Nick: You're leaving money on the table. I can smell it. Watch. I'm gonna string him along, and then I'm going to get you a better deal. He thinks he's fishing for me. Nah, I'm fishing for him, but from the water.
Jess: You're in way over your head.
Nick: Right where a fish wants to be.
Quote from Nick
Nick: Jess, you don't get it. The stuff between Sam and I is deep guy stuff. It's untalkable.
Sam: That's right. I punched him twice.
Nick: And I stole his girlfriend. We're talking about adultery and violence. That part of the male brain has not been civilized.
Jess: So you're just gonna feud forever?
Nick: I'll teach my sons to hate his sons and I expect the same from him.
Sam: You got it.
Nick: Thank you.
Quote from Winston
Winston: How do you spell "boudoir"? I'm so far off, I'm not getting the auto-correct.
Nick: So which girl are you texting now, the coffin-maker?
Winston: Oh, you're thinking about Jamie. Nah, nah. She kinda disappeared into her busy season, so this is Rhonda.
Cece: Oh, is this the girl with the yogurt mouth?
Schmidt: That's Simi Valley Sue. Rhonda is Willem Dafoe's assistant.
Winston: No, she's n... Rhonda's the army reservist.
Nick: Boy, you are on such a tear with the ladies, Winston.
Winston: [whistles] Your boy cleanin' up. Not thinking about Aly. And Rhonda, you know, she's cool, man. I'm having the most fun with her. She really keeps me on my toes. And y'all know Winston love being on his toes.